LillaEgo: Blog

Rollercoaster.

LillaEgo — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 17:55:44 +0000

Maybe I did something stupid, or maybe I did'nt, future will tell as always...

Yesterday night I was at the Swedish Grammis awards after party at Berns, watching drunk, high people and trying to videomix a bit, totally fun. Like really. Some colourful visuals mostly, since they played crappy house with Ingrosso for at least 2 hours, then I think he got tired cause he stepped off. Or maybe he got caught with something just like everybody else there, haha. It's like heaven of cocain inside that club, and outside too of course, cold as fuck...
Oh well still learning, stil wanna learn.

Got some pics from Ellinor after the So Charlotte photoshoot, but I only put one of them up, maybe I'll put more of them up later on, not decided yet.

Now Im going back to being braindead...

If you can't see me, I doesn't exist.

LillaEgo — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 11:52:49 +0000

It's a war going on in my head. Like really, a giant war.
Nothing make sense at all. I can't be here. I can't breahthe. It's like an empty brain or maybe more like an overfilled brain, so much shit you can't see throw it. And you keep on drowning it. You know where to find the light, but you can't reach it. You can't buy your ticket to freedoom. Twists up your entire body, cuts it in two pieces.

Then who will eat the left overs?

Give me an overdose of reality escape.

LillaEgo — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:25:04 +0000

Hmm, I wonder if Im getting some kind of payback here for being an ironic person myself, cause this is ironic.
I got this new job, a job I really was'nt sure about cause they sounded a bit odd when I first met them and did'nt seem to have so much of order or structure at all in their office or whatever. But then I said to myself 'What the fuck, I'll take it for now cause I need the cash!'.
Bummer.
I went there today, my first day at this new job with the odd people and the first thing that happens is that a woman I never met before tells me they have been trying to contact me but they lost my number. Like wtf, do you people have anything over control here? And then she says that the guy who used to be the boss over the work I was suppose to do is sick and had quit his job because of that, and with that follows that they took away some spell of work, and guess who's included in this certain spell of work?! Me.

Gaah I hate to be the one complaining, but right now things are quite dark. No work, no apartment, soon to be no pony. Though I still got my friends and family so at least that keeps me going! Thanx for that! <3

Maybe Im wrong too, maybe it's just suppose to be like this so something new and better can come up, what do I know...

Brain damage.

LillaEgo — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 12:41:20 +0000

I think a live this life some way up side down.

It's scary sometimes how people can see right throw you when you least expect it, and just say all those things you're having a hard time figure out if it's the right or the wrong thing to do. Unfortunately I don't know if other people are right either, but it still scares me. The little fact that they read your mind.
A bit like Dexter. I like Dexter, not cause he's a killer, but for his mind. He's a clever dude. Quite black though. Full of secrets for those who doesnt pay attention. And have the same mind...

I don't know if any of this make sense. On the other hand it doesnt really matter.

Oh, and now I just figured out what I want for my b-day (turning 13 for the 9th time now i think...) anyhow, I want a teleport so I can go to LA and play with my dolls, Madge and Tiff! And all the rest of you wonderful guys a cross that big blue ocean... Also I owe Lex a kiss or 1000000... Love you sweetiepies over there!

Bling bling time to go to my precious pony!

Mind is a razorblade.

LillaEgo — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 12:05:12 +0000

It's a hard thing to find oneself. Hide and seek. A painful path at times.

It's ridiculous how The Knife can keep my brain going and drag out some crazy feelings out of my body. I know, I keep saying it, but it's true, it's like magic. Music always is. At least to me.
I found this live video from the audiovisual experience (Knifes live tour) in my facebook inbox this morning when i woke up, and now Im stucked with it, if I know myself right I will probably be stucked with the entire live dvd this night, hopefully together with someone who finds it magical too, but true thing, Im probably the biggest sucker for knife alive, haha...
Anyways, thanx for putting it in my inbox... It hit the right spot.

Happy mf new year.

LillaEgo — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 19:39:29 +0000

What a great start, Im a homeless kid. Let's just hope this year will be better then 08, cause otherwise i think it will suck pretty hard. Oh yes.

Herrooo 2009!

And so the world turned around.

LillaEgo — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 14:59:55 +0000

No more gas in the red, can't even get it started. Nothing heard, nothing said, can't even speak about it. On my life on my head, don't wanna think about it.
Feels like Im going insane.
It's a thief in the night to come and grab you. It can creep up inside you and consume you.
A disease of the mind, it can control you.
It's to close to comfort...

Happy new years...

All of a sudden.

LillaEgo — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 20:18:03 +0000

Seriously, you could'nt be unattractive even if you tried...

Pass this on.

LillaEgo — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:42:22 +0000

Im in love with your brother, what's his name? I though I'd come by to see him again, and when you two danced, oh what a dance... And when you two laughed, oh what a laugh...
Has he mentioned my age low? Or is he more in to young girls with dyed black hair? Im in love with your broter. I thought I'd come by...

I love The Knife, yes I do. Think it suits me. It suits today. Pass this on.

I was on a real fun photoshoot today, you just got to love the photagrafer, she was awesome! And she loved my piercing so we tooks some funny silly pics too, and since I asked her for them I'll probably get them later on, and then'll post them up here! Hihoo. Really Japanease. And I love Japan.

And if I asked him once what would he say? Is he willing? Can he play?

Meat bus express dirty talk.

LillaEgo — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 18:12:39 +0000

Yesterday when I was looking for jobs I find a company who looked for employes namned in swedish 'Kött Bussen' or as we can call it in english 'The Meat Bus'. What the fuck I say?! That's like the most disgusting and funny name ever. It's like I don't even know what to expect they're selling?! Or is it a bus all covered in meat inside of it?! Or like the icetruck killers truck in Dexter?
I did'nt apply for the job.

So about today, I ended up having a kinda nasty conversation, I did'nt really know what to respond... I could just picutre it, hahaha! Eeh.

HK: I just shaved since I looked like fucking santa!
L: Well, you could be the santa with a santa beard...
HK: You can have a Santa beard!
L: What do you mean by that..?
HK: Semen!!

Have a white xmas...

Lego loves Knife.

LillaEgo — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 12:18:04 +0000

Wohoo, I woke up this morning and found this:
http://www.klicktrack.com/klicktrack/releases/fever-ray/if-i-had-a-heart/1

That's the link to Karin Dreijer Andersson from my love, my life 'The Knife',s new solo project and the first release called 'If I Had A Heart'. Though now she's going under the name 'Fever Ray' in this solo project. Go listen to it damnit!! It's got the feeling of knife, but it's not the same anyhow...

I also know that they're going to set up some kind of opera thinghy next year in Denmark. They're writing the music and libretto for "Tomorrow, in a Year" as it's called. Olof is out in the wild Amazon collecting funny sounds and noises from animails and such for it... Anyhow, this opera is made cause its precisely 150 years since Charles Darwin published 'The orgin of species'. I think this will be rad.
And yes, I wanna see it, and hear it! It's totally worth going to Denmark for! I love The Knife....

Sunday bloody sunday...

LillaEgo — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 20:07:17 +0000

Yesterday night we decided was a night we would not remember. So cause of this we filled our brains with the magic drink called alcohol.

It was a great night, not that I would remember...

My first true boyfriend...

LillaEgo — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:25:16 +0000

I was about to write about a lot of misery in this blog. But then I found this pic and i my mind changed. So instead Im gonna dedicate this blog to my preciuos love who brightens my day, every day. Cause this silly face truly is a crasy entertainment and my best friend. I love him so much and I want him to live forever.

Puzzel and Lego <3

Anxiety wont leave me alone.

LillaEgo — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 12:11:38 +0000

Thanx great lord, trig is back. One thing positive...

I just hade the most terrible weekend of my life, or at least I can't remember any other weekend as bad as this one. Cause I've been working on a boat, and not any boat, a cruising boat... The poeple on this mf boat are fucking unbeliveble. Every other guy trying to pick me up, and it's not charming guys at all, it's like fat 40 years old men behaving like 13 year olds, being so totally drunk that they hardly can't stand. Fucking adult nursery. Makes me wanna throw up. And the worst thing about it: I can't escape! Im trapped on this fucking boat för 4 days, the only place to hide is inside of my room but I can still hear them, and I feel like the most lonley person on erath... Noone to talkt to, no internet, no company... I hate the fact that I need the money so bad, cause this is fucking killing me. Im going on one trip, back and forward thursday-friday nest week, and Im already full of anxiety and panic... Sooo, if any swede got a proper job for me, CONTACT ME!!!!!!!!!! Im fucking desperate!

Thank you.

Now I just want some white snow, a chest full of golden money, and lots of love...

Can I have this for xmas?

LillaEgo — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 11:51:19 +0000

Think it suits me.

No, I don't belive in this anymore.

LillaEgo — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:02:00 +0000

So should I stay or should I go...?

Sometimes life's too fucking much.

Destroy everything you touch today,
Destroy me this way.
Anything that may desert you,
So it cannot hurt you.

Destroy everything you touch.

LillaEgo — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 16:50:36 +0000

Silence,
like a whisper.
Maybe tomorrow it won´t be here.
So tomorrow we could teach them some new styles.
You are such a killer.
So shoot me down again,
It won´t hurt when the killing is done by a friend...

Du är värd att dö för.

The Knife caught my eye.

LillaEgo — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 13:38:00 +0000

The fist time I saw The Knifes 'Silent shout - An audiovisual experince' I was in heaven, no dubt. This totally wonderful music, combined with a visual show which perfectly fit to their music, made me speachless this first time. And still, I can watch it over and over again, totally feeling like Im leavning this world, floating out to space, cause I find it so amazing. And yes, I could kill myself for not seeing it live.

So, visuals apparently is on the map for this century, and I so wanna learn all this myself. Lucky for me I have a boyfriend who's acually working with this stuff so through him I've already learnt some things, but there's a long way to go and Im still waiting for the school I wanna go to to start up in 2009. Anyhow my beloved Patrik recently worked on a big party here in stockholm, where we put up like 3 cubes, a few meter high all 3 of them, the one in the middle was the highest. And this was really cool and appreciated. He got the idea from some guys doing a quite similar thingy in another country. The thing is that now on this years MTV europe music awards The Killers put up this awesome audiovisual performance which is totally like this, and now the guys that did it got sued since it was'nt their idea from the first beginning but they took all the cred for it, saying they came up with the whole idea, which made the guys who acually came up with the idea first, really pissed. And yes, I understand them. This is a quite new thing on the map, everyone wants to be there first, so it's a little battle going on.

Though I still wanted to show the performance that was showed on MTV europe music awards cause it's quite a rad show. This is all made by projectors on screens, and then they videomix it live I guess cause thats how it's usally done. But as I said... Im still learning! Im a newbie.

And this is the original Idea:

Trig at SAS? Eh.

LillaEgo — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:27:36 +0000

It's funny how SAS (Scandinavian Airlines) eurobonus cards has a star on that looks like a trig star if you don't look really close. And everybody out at the airport where I work have this tags on their bags with those stars on, so at first I was like, wtf has trig got to do with SAS?
Then after days of spying on peoples bags I realised I was wrong. SAS is just wannabes!

No sleep much work.

LillaEgo — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:02:47 +0000

Recording a commercial for Axe with 100 girls for 15h makes lego a tired kid.
Though the result can be quite fun.

Halloween Hazard.

LillaEgo — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:28:04 +0000

Fly high what's real can't die.
New pics in my gallery. That night was rad.

Word.

Todays news...

LillaEgo — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 15:01:12 +0000

Or more like, today in the swedish paper Aftonbladet, and apperently on the internet too:

Here

And here's last weeks, Im the small little pic up in the right corner with purple pants, haha...

I might post the pics in my gallery later on anyhow...

It's like autumn...

LillaEgo — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 16:31:25 +0000

It will fade away and turn into a cold winter. And no, I don't think we will keep each other warm this time either.
On the other hand Im used to it.

Hope the NY people will like me. Though Im just one of the hundred.

Rejected.

LillaEgo — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 20:28:11 +0000

So did the pink clouds in the nightmare die when you woke up?

Please don't make it a repeat of the past 21.
I can't live with that.

Morphine takes the pain away.

LillaEgo — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 20:22:38 +0000

You've been asleep for almost 3 days...

Fucking fellow on the street... This ain't my ceiling.

Though you squeezed my finger real hard.
I love you too.