xXxBeautifulDisasterxXx

I want Matt to call. Like now.
I really NEED to talk to him about stuff.
I feel really shitty =[
There's to much going on in my life right now.
and i can't handle it.
I'm really tempted to do something..but I can't because matt told me if i did it again he wouldn't talk to me.
Why does life have to suck so much?
and why does love have to hurt as much as it does?
I don't get it.
I'm happy...because I have the heart of a great guy...and he has mine..
but yet i hurt so much. and I dont understand why.
Maybe i hurt because i can't be with matt.
I'm so in love with a guy......that I can't even fucking see...it KILLS me
I don't understand why it has to be this way...why we have to be so far apart...why my mom wont fucking let me go and see him...
I also don't really understand why his friends don't want him to be even just friends with me.
Thats something that really gets me..and something that i haven't been able to stop thinking about.
I wish that people would just accept the fact that me and matt are going to be together no matter what they fucking say..and that they are just going to have to get used to it..and deal with it.
I think that life would be easier if ppl could accept that fact...but i guess life is going to be difficult because it seems that people will never grow the fuck up.
It's bullshit because matt cant even talk to his friends about me...because if he does..they'll get pissy..and say shit about me...
I wish it was the way it was in the beginning.
when matts friends somewhat liked me..and i liked them..
when there wasn't people who tryed splitting me and matt up....and no..its not just matts friends...its my fucking friends and family too.
I just dont get it..
why does things have to be this way.