babykate2010: Blog

BEING DEAD SERIOUS!!!!!PLEASE POST ANSWERS TO THIS BLOG!

babykate2010 — Tue, 20 May 2008 12:38:18 +0000

Is anybody going to Kansas anytime soon? Or in the area. if you are PLEASEEE HOOK ME UP WITH A FUCKING RIDE!!! Even if its around the kansas area I dont care. Just as long as I get closer to Kansas then I am right now. PLEASE let me know if you know anybody or if you yourself are going to kansas. I NEED to go there. I miss matt

peace out
--katie--

NEWW{matt}

babykate2010 — Tue, 20 May 2008 12:35:01 +0000

    So, last night Matt called. I am sooo pissed!!! I was in the middle of saying peace out to him...and he was telling me peace out as well....and just like that...MY PHONE DIES!!!! Then I go downstairs to get the other home phone, and it doesn't work!!! UGHHH stupid ass phones!
    After doing some serious thinking. I have come to the conclusion that matt is a HUGEEE tease! Lol. But for real...after thinking I have decided that I am just going to wait for Matt for a long long time. If that meens I have to be single for a LONGGGG time then I will wait. It will DEFINATLEY be worth it!
    I have also decided that..I REALLY REALLY want to go be in Kansas with matt. I think I am going to find a way to get down there...I'm not sure how...but I'm to the point where I will fucking walk.
   Ughh I'm so sick of our parents not letting us see each other!!!!! Have any of you been in this situation before?! Because I feel like Matt and I are the only ones and it SUCKS!
   Anyways...I'm really not looking forward to this summer Matt is gonna be gone for awhile. EKKK WHAT WILL I DO THIS SUMMER?!?!?! Lol...who knows *rolls eyes*.
   So umm..other than that stuff nothing much else is new with me. Just been taking care of sean. He is such a GREAT baby!! Ya'll have no idea how good of a kid he is. Woo he turns a month on Wednesday. Damn....time flys. Other than that I'm just anxious to have school be over. BUt GRR I have 2 more weeks of school left. These 2 weeks consist of finals. Yes...TWO weeks worth of finals. Oh goody. V . V .   So anywyas..I need to get going to school now. Ya'll have a great day!!!
Peaceout!!

---Katie---

Wow...this is deep

babykate2010 — Tue, 20 May 2008 01:38:14 +0000

Matt called me literally 6 minutes ago....and HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM SOOOO HAPPY!!! I'm glad I didn't have to wait till 9:00 to talk to him. Anyways, he calls me..and tells me he was havin crazy thoughts again...and....he tells me that he wants me so bad that he's about ready to start shaking...and then he tells me that....he would pretty much give up anything for me....i wont mention what because..i just wont...but..it is some pretty deep stuff. I can't believe the feelings I have for this kid....he is just...sooo UGHHHHH i can't even fucking describe it and it pisses me off because I want to be able to describe my feelings but I cant.
Umm...but yeah...I really feel like me and this kid are going to be togetehr forever.
I know i've said this before.
But i REALLY REALLY feel it right now..
I have some pretty high hopes for mine and matts future together.
I really cant see me having a future without him.
I really really cant
anyways gonna go so ic an talk to him on the phone now
Peace out !
--katie--

NEW I wonder why...

babykate2010 — Mon, 19 May 2008 23:47:40 +0000

I wonder why...people lie... Have you ever wondered that??? I'm not saying anybody specific or anything...but..I meen people in general. I meen really...WHAT IS THE POINT?!?!?!?!?!?!?! It is best to tell the truth.....it will make a person trust you alot more....it will make the person understand ALOT more...it won't make the person wonder why you lied in the first place......I really hate being lied to....i was recently lied to..and i forgave the person already...but i just dont understand why they did it. In a way...it hurt a teeny tiny bit......in a way..in made me a teeny tiny bit angry....but i got over it fast. I just dont get why.........this person didnt tell me the truth to begin with....back to people in general...it takes to much energy to lie...so why do it? I meen..the truth WILL come out sometime soon...no matter what you think.. If you lie...and get caught...you'll get in a lot more trouble then if you told the truth. Thats just what a certain someone has always told me =]]] he knows who he is .
Anyways....just had to blog and get this out of my system.
talkt o ya'll later
peace out!
--katie--

NEWW!! Runaway???

babykate2010 — Mon, 19 May 2008 23:37:52 +0000

So today, Matt called me. He asked me if I could kidnap him. I was like" haha um......no."
Then he told me that he seriously wanted to run away because he is sick of people around him. So then I've been thinking of things that could happen. You know like, since I want to run away from this house as well...maybe I could find a way down to Kansas.......and be with Matt..OR if he still want's to run away ...we could run away together...But yet again..there is the chance of getting caught. Unless if we cover ourselfs up really good. It's probably a stupid idea...but we would actually get to be together, and be happy....and not have ppl nagging us about who we are dating....idk..i've just been thinking about this now....
Tell me what you think I should do?
Btw...
IS ANYBODY HEADING TO KANSAS OR AROUND THE KANSAS AREA??????
IF SO YOU SHOULD HOOK ME UP WITH A RIDE!!!

New #3 Matt

babykate2010 — Mon, 19 May 2008 23:34:38 +0000

So I was talking to Matt on the phone today, and my friend Kelly called. She told me that this guy who I have had a crush on since we were in 6th grade called her and said that He likes me!!! I was happy for a little bit, but then I got to thinking, " Oh my god what am I going to do??". This guys name is Tyler...I have known him since we were in 5th grade liked him since we were in 6th. The thing is that we only talk everyone ONCE in a while....so it's like...if we dated would we even talk??? I've known Matt for going on 6 months, and he lives in Kansas. He is sweet, caring, kind, really fucking hilarious, a smart ass, hot, not selfish what so ever, very smart with street stuff, and one of the greatest guys I think a girl could ever meet. So I'm not sure If I should go out with a guy who i've liked forever, and lives here,but yet never talk to......OR If i should wait for the guy who lives in kansas, that i've known for going on 6 monhts, the one that i trust....and the one that has my heart.
If you could put yourself in my shoes...and maybe give me some advice...that would be great.
Maybe I'm pathetic asking for peoples advice on the enternet..but I really need help on what to do......I am really leaning towards sticking around with matt....but not being in kansas and being with him..is really really killing me. Blah!!! HELP ME PEOPLE!!

New#2 [Matt]

babykate2010 — Mon, 19 May 2008 23:27:44 +0000

Okay so I've been thinking ALOT ALOT ALOT latley. What have I been thinking about you may ask. Well I guess I've been wondering. Wondering....howcome we haven't gone back out yet. I meen....I understand possible reasons....but I'm just not sure. I'm thinking it's because I can't be there with Matt.....and so the distance thing is a major factor of why we aren't. Maybe it's because some people dont support us even being friends....so they really wouldnt support us going out..and he just wouldn't want problems with that....or what... I really didn't want to blog about this...but I wanted matt to be aware that this is something I've been thinking alot about latley. So matt, if your reading this.....DONT TALK TO ME ABOUT IT ON THE PHONE!! lol. I don't know why but I just......idk dont wanna talk about it on the phone I guess XD XD But umm....Yeah....I meen I can wait for as long as I have to..but i've just been wondering why.

NEW #1 [Matt]

babykate2010 — Mon, 19 May 2008 23:24:16 +0000

Hey sorry I haven't blogged for awhile people! Been kind of somewhat busy. So, last night I was talking to matt on the phone....pretty late..and we got to talking about the future. He was talking about his viper [as always] and he ended up saying something along the line of " Getting to have my viper..would be the second best thing that could ever have happened to me". Then I asked him " What's the first?" and he replyed" Getting to be with you." OMG OMG OMG OMG PEOPLE!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEENS! I meen...you REALLY don't! His viper meens the world to him, and he put ME before his VIPER!! I always thought that his viper ment more than me...and that his viper would ALWAYS be more important than me...and that it would go...viper...then me....viper....me...NOT me...then viper...ME VIPER!!!! This is so fucking crazy! I meen..all I could say for about 5 minutes after that was " wow". He literally left me speechless. Anyways, I just wanted to really blog about that.. Because him saying that...pretty much meens that i would come before anything. and wow, that meens alot.
Matt, if your reading this ....I LOVE YOU!!!
Peace out people!
---Katie---

OMG THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!

babykate2010 — Tue, 13 May 2008 23:43:15 +0000

So, today I stayed after school for dance practice. My mom came to pick me up at about 4:25 or somethign like that, and here was our conversation.:
mom-" hey hun how was school?"
me- " **silence**"
mom-" why wont u talk?"
me- " have no reason to"
mom-" just because you lost matt doesnt meen that it's the end of the world."
me-"it sure as hell is!"
mom- "well you will be happy....somebody called for you and left you a message."
me-" no i wont...who was it?"
mom-"you will see."
me-"whatever"

[thinking in my head]

me- I wonder if it was matt...NO KATIE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP! it probably wasn't...why would he call ME?

[gets home and plays the messages on the answering machine]
answering machine--" you have...two new messages...message one.... Hey Katie it's matt, call me back when you get the chance...peace out."

me---*screams rlly loud* OMG OMG OMG MATT CALLED! HE LOVES MEE!!!!

answering machine-----message two.. " Hey katie it's matt again..umm don't call me back..I'll give you a call as soon as I can..i really need to talk to you...love you peace out"

me---GRR I WANT TO CALL HIM!

SO THIS DAY HAS BEEN GREAT!! Matt called me, and left me two messages. I waited for a lil bit and about an hour or so later he called me back and we've been talking. Just got off the phone with him though cuz he had to bring groceries into the house.

Wow, ya'll have NO idea how happy I am !!! I just....=] Felt so good to hear his voice again. I feel stupid for freaking out and doing the things that I did...or attempted to do. I should have known, that he would have called me SOMETIME. Or talk to me SOMETIME. That's how he always is. He finds a way to talk to me. Might not be right away..but sooner or later....he WILL talk to me. I really feel like me and him being together was ment to be...because....I don't think it would be happening this way if it wasn't.

You know....I really hope that my other blogs didn't make all of trig hate him. Because people, he REALLY IS a great guy. He is good to talk to ...you feel TONS better after talking to him. and OMFG HE IS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS.
wow
im so excited.
and WOOO IM TALKING TO HIM ON THE PHONE AGAIN!
yay!
well im going to go so i can talk to him before he has to go!
To those of you who take time to read my blogs THANKS
and.......i'll right more later.
WJPAWIOEIOPSOPAGJASIOFJWOPFIJWEIOGHEIGJAWIOPFJSAIOGJASIOPJ SWGHWGUIHWPIJ
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
sorry..just rlly happy.
=]

OUCH :'(:'(

babykate2010 — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:44:29 +0000

Okay so, i really needed to get on here and blog. UGHHHH last n ight was THE worst night of my entire LIFE. So ya'll know that Matt kid I have been blogging about? The same one I talk about in my profile...The same one...that i gave my whole....entire heart to...then he just goes....and stomps on it....crushing it into a million little pieces... I can't believe that I actually got enough guts...and trusted him enough.....to decide to trust him fully, and whole heartedly...THEN decide to give him my heart. There's no way that I'll ever be able to love, or trust again. I don't have a heart to love anybody, because it's laying on the floor in tiny little pieces. I called him last night...to talk to him...he tells me somethings...then tells me we wont be able to talk....God! this hurts soo much....The pain is LITERALLY going to kill me. I can't handle this all. I had a feeling this day would come...but then I got my hopes up and told myself that the future that me and him had planned out was really going to happen. But now I have no future. So whats the point in even living? Tell me that one.

Saying Goodbye [ any advice?]

babykate2010 — Sat, 10 May 2008 21:00:14 +0000

Okay so...I need to blog about this really bad.. Because its my way to vent. since I can't do anything else.

I hate saying goodbye. But I think that I might have to do it. I don't want matt's friends being angry at him because of me...or anything like that....so I think I should just say goodbye to everybody...

But I dont know because....I love him...SO MUCH...he was the first guy that i trusted to give my WHOLE heart to...and that meens alot.

I just feel like im intruding on his life. Like...i meen...he was all fine with his friends and stuff..then all of a sudden BAM! a girl comes into his life. I could only imagine how his friends feel.

Saying goodbye...is really going to kill me...and eat at me....for the rest of my life though. Because he is the best guy out there in this world i swear he is.

I dont know what to do!!!

Any advice??

Venting

babykate2010 — Sat, 10 May 2008 16:13:52 +0000

I want Matt to call. Like now.
I really NEED to talk to him about stuff.
I feel really shitty =[
There's to much going on in my life right now.
and i can't handle it.
I'm really tempted to do something..but I can't because matt told me if i did it again he wouldn't talk to me.
Why does life have to suck so much?
and why does love have to hurt as much as it does?
I don't get it.
I'm happy...because I have the heart of a great guy...and he has mine..
but yet i hurt so much. and I dont understand why.
Maybe i hurt because i can't be with matt.
I'm so in love with a guy......that I can't even fucking see...it KILLS me
I don't understand why it has to be this way...why we have to be so far apart...why my mom wont fucking let me go and see him...
I also don't really understand why his friends don't want him to be even just friends with me.
Thats something that really gets me..and something that i haven't been able to stop thinking about.
I wish that people would just accept the fact that me and matt are going to be together no matter what they fucking say..and that they are just going to have to get used to it..and deal with it.
I think that life would be easier if ppl could accept that fact...but i guess life is going to be difficult because it seems that people will never grow the fuck up.
It's bullshit because matt cant even talk to his friends about me...because if he does..they'll get pissy..and say shit about me...
I wish it was the way it was in the beginning.
when matts friends somewhat liked me..and i liked them..
when there wasn't people who tryed splitting me and matt up....and no..its not just matts friends...its my fucking friends and family too.
I just dont get it..
why does things have to be this way.