darstallard

Demo - January 19th 2008

This is my first time here so just posting the lyrics for the most-recently recorded demo tracks I have uploaded.  The songs were really recorded as a test and all were recorded in 1 take, straight through one after the other in one hour.
These are the lyrics.

Drawn Lines
9-10-07

Why do you dream of that house and the people who go there when summer begins?
To throw little parties and drink in the dusk like the lost generation was us
Why do you think that we showed all that promise and then we just wasted our time?
Arguing over the merits of whether to create the things in our minds

All of, these works in progress
Are hung, somewhere hopeless
But there’s new, passion stirring
As rules are changed for the times
We move on newly drawn lines

Why do we dream of the past when its over and we cannot change what it was
Or maybe we’re waiting for redefinition or binding ourselves in new locks
How come the entropy comes to us sweetly and tells us that things are alright
The gallery closes when light gets just cold enough for dust to settle in sight

All of, these works in progress
Are hung, somewhere hopeless
But there’s new, passion stirring
As rules are changed for the times
We move on newly drawn lines

We’ll just stand out here and drink in the sunset and try not to worry too much
About the state of the art and how much we can hate all the parts that are left
Let’s not be swayed by post-modernist games and just get back to where we began
In just sitting still and just letting the feeling create more than we understand

All of, these works in progress
Are hung, somewhere hopeless
But there’s new, passion stirring
As rules are changed for the times
We move on newly drawn lines

Oh the, work is golden
And honesty, is all that
I need to be satisfied
The space and the light in my eyes
The space and the light in my eyes

Condescension Breathes
4-07-07

Condescension breathes
And changes every memory
Of these faces here in this room
That are changing as you look at them
And all of the charges laid
And all the rights and wrongs of them
Make bravery a common ill
In vaguely changed perceptions

You can re-imagine
The angers of the past
And place a new lament upon
A love that failed to last
But lately I’ve been thinking
And I think we thought it out wrong
Because now when we’re drinking
I know it’s your closeness that makes me strong

Here are my hands I’ll take the weight
Of each insult, sleight and broken plate
And here’s to coming back again
To passion’s play on ageing skin
Here’s to all our parents words
When we were young and played with hurt
Here's to wisdom hard-won now
In the know and unknot of the brow

You can re-imagine
Each of the people we’ve become
And place a rose on the lips
Of a love that continues to run
Lately I’ve been hoping that
Hope lets me keep things alive
Because now when we are talking
I know it’s your words that make me seem right

I’d have left this place long ago
If I’d had the guts it takes to go
But I’m reconciled and happier
Than I ever thought I could’ve been
Because I was young I thought the truth
Was letting all this madness loose
But I’ve learned something over time
It’s not the place, it’s in my mind

Now I can re0imagine
Every journey I would’ve liked to take
Still I’m looking at you
After all I’m glad I stayed
Lately I’ve been seeing
All the light that’s coming from you
Want to take the joy we’ve shared
And put it all back upon you

Stars Aren’t Beat
21-2-05

Well I didn’t mean to ask for your thoughts when I said those things
I was locked into the righteous disgust that this loneliness brings
I was thinking of the lost generation and thinking of us
How we push ourselves out on the edge with our pale hungry love
I was wondering what have we learned from the times we’ve seen
How we still try to change the world so we can’t reach our dreams
And the melodies we seek are in contempt of beauties’ disguise
Nothing we admire can be seen with half-closed eyes
‘Cause we’re talking about the world as we see it and not how we choose
To find the gathering snowflakes in the needles’ grooves

I never notice the clocks creeping past my time
Too busy listening for a train and the whisper that says you’re mine
And trying to guess what is hidden ‘neath her pencil lines
Thinking that the jury will never make it here on time
The beauty comes knocking when I’m looking for the will to sleep
Holds me in it’s’ arms and tells me the stars aren’t beat
So I’m looking out a window but I can’t see all of the sky
Maybe I’m glad of that because the sunlight lost my eyes
And if beauty has to leave I’ll take another book from the shelf
And practice not seeing what I can’t keep for myself

You’re talking about a history I never believed was real
It was written in conceit so you’d find something to feel
But they didn’t get the point; they were asking you to make a choice
Between the loss of your morning fears or your hopeful voice
You took the easy way but you didn’t even realise
You were selling your passion for a cheap Halloween disguise
That left you standing naked in the mist when the sun did rise
With tarnished rings on your fingers and no truth in your eyes
Its assumptions that got us here, assumptions won’t get us back
The meaning we took was a river of loss and lack

Now I’m gonna figure out just what I’ve got to do
About you butchers and bakers who tell me you can play the blues
And all you teachers and scholars who say you’ve got a line on fear
And you writers with a pen and an eye that only see what’s clear
I’m turning back the covers I need to disappear a while
Till I can find the dislocation and refraction of a drunken child
And the blur in the vision where the colours can be really seen
So I can tell you all the things that I don’t know I mean
And when I come back the gloves will be off the hands
So I can ride the proud highway through to the promised land

Red Knickered Whore!
8/9/06

We waltz without longing or pride
Through the bedrooms of our former lives
Through half-finished dreams of silk and self esteem
Through a desire that became too real

All the worlds’ nightmares are here
In the eyes of a whore who shows you her fear
In the touch that says touch me no more
In its tender plea to close one more door
On the past

The candlelight shows you the lines
That the day forgives and the memory defines
As a well worn version of strength
There are no new lessons in the morning’s contempt
For the past

But a new horizon has come
As you scrape the stains from your clothes with your thumb
And a new conviction takes hold in your gut
Give them the love when loves not enough
For the past

All the worlds’ nightmares are here
In the bruise on your lip through a taste of cold beer
In a bar half way home again
A bar half way to another beginning
Of a past

Childhood’s Gone
22-03-05

It’s spooky but I guess I understand
Some of us are not living now but dead
With twenty years that I can’t quite recall
Measures out in failures repeated
Was it formed when you were just a boy?
Patterns of your controlling ways
Thinking you were somehow in exile
They’ll bend to your will if they want to stay around

Childhood’s gone
From the memory as well as the days
Childhood’s gone
Well the eyes never seemed to fit the face

Suzanne and Nicola aren’t here
They wouldn’t know your face anyway
Do you dream of an apology you gave?
And redeemed; then just walked away
Forgive them for the filthy things they said
Like evil dropping from the mouths babes
Forget the pain that crossed over her eyes
No childhood left when knowing wounded pride

Childhood’s gone
From the memory as well as the days
Childhood’s gone
Well the eyes never seemed to fit the face

Those women now find their own strength
And the men have their ways to undermine
I want to look into my own yearning eyes
And see the history, the arc of life
It’s there more if it ever was
There was promise snatched stillborn
And I see it in moments they allowed
I feel the guilt but I was warned

Childhood’s gone
From the memory as well as the days
Childhood’s gone
Well the eyes never seemed to fit the face

Drinking Life
10-8-05

We always talk about
The dreams and plans and heartbeats
Over the drinks that
Shakedown our loss
And the empathy that’s seen
In the eyes of a good barman
Makes way for short patience
As night creeps in
And we can put it down to honour
The need for a few distractions
But it’s all sulphur
Quicksilver and fools gold
The sun is still shining
As we walk outside
But we’ve lost another day
In this drinking life

Empty streets
11-1-97

Soon you’ll walk these empty streets about me
In these footsteps I lay down tonight
It’s not right the years don’t let you live or die
They divine their own misshapen wrongs and rights

And you’ll lay down tonight in easy sleep
As i climb walls and challenge skies to weep
And sing my songs as if they matter something
And pray the day my misery to keep

I weigh balance of time against my passion
And wish the world could take my need away
And when your eyes fall down upon my meaning
My defence is never worth the will to say

And so i sit here thinking of design
I walk in darkness to a futile end
And when you say you haven’t got the heart left
I want to whisper, “baby, just pretend”

So when you walk these empty streets about me
And i cannot exist then by your side
Dream a dream of passions never living
No worthy occupation for my mind

Bitter listener
02/06/2006

You’re a hard and bitter listener
Looking for the proof of youth
Show me some fuckways novena
Aw, you’re a blessing in disguise

Deliberate, I act so slow
Trying to take in the play of light
On our words as they pass
Between us in the glowing night

You’re a better act to follow
Than the lips I pressed before
Pressed the lies back to the heart
A bitter lust, a broken want

Lucked, and linked in loss
Trying to take in the play of light
On our words as they pass
Between us in the glowing night

Now let that other song play
All Jesus and war and cigarettes
I’ve money on the endings
I’ll take your losingest bets

You’re a hard and bitter listener
A fragment that falls on a half-belief
A workmanlike passion never seen through
To where it puts a scar on need

Wasteful, letting the wine wash down
Trying to take in the play of light
On our words as they pass
Between us in the glowing night

Diamond
5-1-06

Let’s just pretend that I’m already gone
Go movies on my eyelids, no charm in my song
Though there’s one who came to find me
And to give me some kind of place
Where I could take the fractured mirror
And I could look upon her face
Where I could leave the words inside
And let them do their work
Changing me for the better
Without making me feel worse

Oh, I know you’re a diamond
When you look at me

You’re the clever girl I found to love
The one I found to meet the mood I need
Even though in some way
I need a fix every day
I’ll try to give you my best face
My little impression of social grace
Those dead leaves on the wet street
Really mean nothing to me
I’ll frame a pretty picture anyway
I want the beauty to be mine

Oh, I know you’re a diamond
When you look at me

Behind the Spines
12-2-07

There’s a chill in the air but that’s nothing new
I get feelings like this when I wait for you
There’s a promise that sets an exception here
For the things we decided to leave unclear

Can you bring me new, music I want to dance?
Want to feel you put new rings on both my hands
Want to take all the calm that you try to wear
Burn it up, let it rain down on both our hair

All these times we sit
Twisting memories to make a new dream that fits
In every conscious way
I seek meanings in all the songs you play

I’ve got something for you Joe
A tender look, a drink, a smoke
But I don’t have the lines
That you slipped behind the spines
Of the books on pop culture
That you loaned me when we met
Because you’ve lost the dream you promised
You would not let us forget

In the hotel you went to, to drink alone
I was working the bar like a proper pro
It was angostura that made me smile
But you saw something else in my creased up eyes

You said I had something of Gertrude Stein
In the way my hand shook and my febrile mind
You told me that you had a book in you
And I drank to being a drunkard’s muse

All these times we sit
Twisting memories to make a new dream that fits
In every conscious way
I seek meanings in all the songs you play

I’ve got something for you Joe
A tender look, a drink, a smoke
But I don’t have the lines
That you slipped behind the spines
Of the books on pop culture
That you loaned me when we met
Because you’ve lost the dream you promised
You would not let us forget

There’s nothing being written now
And little being said
Your promise turns to regret
And leaves shadows on my bed

When You Go Away
16-11-05

So long to try forget a name. Always seems there’s someone there who knows. Whether looking out the windows of a train. Or all dressed up in someone else’s clothes. Drop it where you stand and walk away. Never open up that box beneath the bed. But a letter in an inside pocket says. That a lost key doesn’t mean the room is locked.

In a town where all the streets are named for you. Lights come up on memories you’ve hidden from. That live in shadows in these rented rooms. Where you passed the time that wouldn’t pass you by. Always something left to fill the picture frame. Of a student girl who doesn’t know your name. Just a story in the bar when the chairs are left. To those ghosts with empty lockets round their necks.

And there’s always something left behind. When you go away. Always hanging round in someone’s mind. Never go away.

There’s rain in every photograph you saw. And stains on every tongue who knew you from before. There’s dirt beneath your nails each time you look. And places marked in unfamiliar books. There’s still value in the things you want to lose. Colours where the tattoos were removed. There’s loss in everything you hold onto. Without loss you find it hard to see the truth.

Bitter feelings come when other feelings slip. From that whisky burn that’s hanging on your lip. Changing skin doesn’t age the way you thought. Just like tarnish clinging to that silver cross. Puts the tears into half-remembered dreams. And the shape on fears that never get redeemed. Faded smiles saying youth is for the young. Faded pictures say that’s never been more wrong.

And there’s always something left behind. When you go away. Always hanging round in someone’s mind. Never go away.

Now a charm on a chain is all you have. From a girl who took too many things too hard. Whose eyes are always there in certain words. Certain songs and certain colours bring the hurt. And those rented rooms in streets you walk along. Are now shrines to a little right and too much wrong. And you can’t go in the old bars anymore. Without seeing that blue dress she always wore.

And there’s always something left behind. When you go away. Always hanging round in someone’s mind. Never go away.

Born Crooked
19-1-06

I’ve never seen that kind of rain before
Can’t tear my eyes away
And I didn’t know this room
Could get so cold

And all the books that told me something
Of the man I would become
Look down on me with
Eyes of pawnshop gold

The crutches in the corner
Are standing upside down
The scratched records all seem
Dusty and old

But your favourite song is playing
Not hollow anymore
You’ve found the life it
Promised long ago

A dream that’s born crooked
Becomes a nightmare in the end
We all have our regrets
To cover up

The boots I used to love
Have holes that leak the rain
But I won’t be going
Out there anyhow

The poetry I’ve written
Is in piles around the floor
It means nothing to me
No, nothing now

And all the words we used
To force the dark away awhile
Are arranged in lines
I don’t want to believe

And all the things we carefully gathered
For a place against the world
Don’t seem to be quite
The things I need

A dream that’s born crooked
Becomes a nightmare in the end
We all have our regrets
To cover up

I should have known the answer
When you just stopped asking
For my thoughts on anything
You cared about

Should have seen the darker tones
In your painting and your prose
Should have seen the lights
All going out

And I never saw the changes
In the things that stay the same
Your voice held melody
Right up until the end

Now I’m back at the beginning
Of the memories we made
And I see the point where
You start to pretend

A dream that’s born crooked
Becomes a nightmare in the end
We all have our regrets
To cover up

Watch you dancing
Jan 99
Edit: July 00

The beer sunk, the serenade
The talk turns to the old crowd
False eyed losers and true blind artists
The dreams you said out loud
And we cling to the frayed edges
Of the fabric of our world
No reminiscence is going to help us
We were saviours with no worth

Just once more to watch you dancing
I want to see you in flight
Once more to feel you moving
Down through the depth of the night

Try one time, to sing a new song
Try to lean on yourself
Try to deal, with the silence
Try to crawl out of your hell
When you learn that you can walk
Come and pick me back up
Take me out, one night
Take me inside your love

Just once more to watch you dancing
I want to see you in flight
Once more to feel you moving
Down through the depth of the night

When You’re Bored Of Me
27-4-06

You hide in shadow telling me you’re having such an episode,
Well those days are gone so give the thing a name.
I’ll hold your hand or push you; or tell you how it is,
But I won’t play these childish little games.

They put a hole in you so you could take the poison out
But you’re looking for infection every time.
Well come on give me something I can even rail against
‘Cause its only emptiness that fills my mind.

When you’re bored of me, try not make a scene,
Give me substance or give me freedom.
When you’re bored of me, tell me that’s the truth.
I have no justice for your demons.

You cast yourself so bravely as the conscience of your time,
Were you looking for attention or redemption?
There’s money in the answers and more money in defeat;
One means blood the other just bad dreams.
But now you’ve got the colour of the climate in your skin
And your eyes are looking back and deep within.
What is life worth when the days don’t add up?
The rewards don’t come like you said they would.

Your politics was a pop song in a feminist attitude.
You had the hairstyles and the difficult moods.
But life moves on and you get so sick
Of yourself and all you thought you believed

When you’re bored of me, try not make a scene,
Give me substance or give me freedom.
When you’re bored of me, tell me that’s the truth,
I have no justice for your demons.

You hide, you hide, and you claim you’re open wide
For the next big revelation.
You hide, you hide, all the chaos that’s inside;
You’re looking dumb and scanning the horizon.
And you’re bored of me, you’re bored of me,
Well, so what, so am I