Chris Paul

Most people know what a huge wrestling fan I am. Those who know me very well, know that Chris Benoit was my favorite professional wrestler. I was almost in tears at Wrestlemania 20 when he finally won the World Title. Yes, the outcomes in wrestling are predetermined, but being given the World Title still means something in this business.

So now, four days after this horrific, headline news story, I'm still shocked. I'm still looking for some sort of reasoning. A man I looked up to, a hero of mine, lost control of his life and committed heinous acts.

I don't have any real insightful, intelligent commentary on the matter. I flat out just wish it didn't happen. After reading and hearing some of the facts about the case, I understand it more. What Benoit did is unforgivable, but no one can truly know the stresses in his life and how badly they affected his mental state. From being on the road constantly, to marital problems, and now the realization that his son was very ill, the stress in Benoit's life was immense. While still not a reason for doing what he did, it helps me to understand.

I guess I feel I understand him more because I've struggled with stress issues during my life, but I've never really gotten to that severe breaking point. And in recent years I've begun to control them more and more by relieving stress in different ways. I know a lot of Benoit's friends were there for them and he could've gone to them, cried in front of them, and they would've helped him in any way they could've. But he didn't. He went down a path that you can't come back from. And I understand.

A lot of this is rambling because sometimes these blogs help me get thoughts out and piece them together, but it just hurts. It hurts to lose a hero. It hurts to lose someone that meant a lot to me. And some people will say, "he's just some wrestler, just a celebrity", but then I guess those people just wouldn't understand.

In other news, hopefully we'll be launching ACTV very soon. It's been delayed while I develop different graphics and because of our extensive coverage of the Borgata Summer Open. I'm excited for everyone to see it. I was director, camera, sound, lighting, and editor on just about every piece. And there's about 30 different videos right now. I've put the last three months of my life into ACTV, and I hope very much that it becomes successful and leads to bigger and better things.

Well I'm done blogging for now. Just remember, don't let the stresses in your life build up. There's always a way to relieve stress.