Blog post 'opening old wounds'
opening old wounds
- Published: 133 days ago
- Comments: 3
- Reads: 68
So i get the grand idea of reading old entries from my livejournal 2003...
I got so overwhelmed with all the old emotions of pain, and the need to die... but i went on when 95% of my entries is seeking help and love, and all i could do as present aileen is rewatch my soul die again on loop. watching it eat at me, feeling it creep up on me... i guess i really am stronger than I know, its not helping my pod is playing songs from that year that were there fro me then and no they still hold the emotions, tears, fears as it did then.
and in all i can hear this old song i wrote long time ago... strange to remember one when it was thrown out against my will and its strange i had a perfect image already done for it... as if it were still floating in my subconscious:
I got so overwhelmed with all the old emotions of pain, and the need to die... but i went on when 95% of my entries is seeking help and love, and all i could do as present aileen is rewatch my soul die again on loop. watching it eat at me, feeling it creep up on me... i guess i really am stronger than I know, its not helping my pod is playing songs from that year that were there fro me then and no they still hold the emotions, tears, fears as it did then.
and in all i can hear this old song i wrote long time ago... strange to remember one when it was thrown out against my will and its strange i had a perfect image already done for it... as if it were still floating in my subconscious:
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- Trigs
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Comments
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Leenstar - Divine Secretary
- 4343 trigs,
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- Published: 131 days ago
well i havent felt them again until i went back to read my journal, it was tramuatic enough to relive it... its odd. -
Tessara
- 601 trigs,
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- Published: 131 days ago
I've known feelings such as that, but I no longer allow them to be felt. -
Voodoo Doll
- 829 trigs,
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- Published: 132 days ago
Sad, but very beautifully written. Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog. I'm usually pretty shy about posting my writing, especially because it's so personal, but Madame G is always sending me nice little comments that always manage to make me brave enough to do it again.