Blog post 'More Than The Past -- A Love Letter'
More Than The Past -- A Love Letter
- Published: 110 days ago
- Comments: 1
- Reads: 22
:sigh:
I miss you.
Maybe its just a funk. Maybe its just stress. Or maybe its just because I love you so damn much.
I miss you so much more than the past. Past as in ex-boyfriends. Past as in those who did not lift me up unless I asked for them to "snap me out of it". Past as in guys who did not try to learn a thing about me past the first month, or what their mistaken assumption/dream was. Past as in guys who were completely different but both left the same result; heartbreak.
Its no wonder I love you. You are so different and at the same time a lot of the things I have been wanting in a guy. You re-evaluate where you went wrong, I do the same, and we settle things as adults not children. I may not shut up too soon sometimes but you understand that it's part of my character and I may never stop at 3 sentences when I'm on a roll. You show a dedication that leaves me wanting to pinch myself. And I wanna cry often because I am so happy.
But I miss you. Miss you so damn much.... today, yesterday and the month before. But for some reason today I feel as if I miss you to the max. Where I wanna cry, bury myself in sheets with a bag of the best junk food and ignore the world miss you. Sounds dramatic but it's hard being away from someone you feel so connected with yet haven't even known for that long. Contrary to that... I feel like I have known you for a while. Heck, even a complete stranger (well, now close acquaintance of ours) said he was fooled because he was sure we knew each other for a long time and lived in the same town. You say it confirms your feelings even more and that's not the first time you've said that. It touches me, too. I have never had anyone say to me even when I had dated a close friend!!! And the only person to say we were cute was his mom :rolleyes: I feel more confident with each little word you say that I have made a great risk in trying things again distantly. With a guy PERIOD!
You may remember that I did not want to date anybody until I had my head straight. I am 60% there and with a wonderful boyfriend I would not reverse for the world. You caught me by surprise, as I caught you. And in the end we changed each others outlook and hope for what so many look for: Love. I faught it for so long and then I gave in. In result, I have reaped great rewards thus far. I feel so grateful.
Now, I could speak the cynical side of me and say that I should be cautious and not let this get over my head. But dammit... you are only given so many moments in life to flourish, dwell and experience feelings of any kind. Especially love. I am in love, people. Regardless, there's still a part of me that remains cautious because I refuse to be stepped on and left on a bad note. I am a person as much as I am your girlfriend, lover and friend. You are, too. We both remain real and only see the possibilites. Not what HAS to happen because we know that ANYTHING can happen. Ultimately we want the best but not on selfish conditions and pressure. We're letting it flow.
Still....I wish so badly to be with you tonight. Though, oddly enough I can still feel your touch. :sigh: I love you.
-- Vanessa
I miss you.
Maybe its just a funk. Maybe its just stress. Or maybe its just because I love you so damn much.
I miss you so much more than the past. Past as in ex-boyfriends. Past as in those who did not lift me up unless I asked for them to "snap me out of it". Past as in guys who did not try to learn a thing about me past the first month, or what their mistaken assumption/dream was. Past as in guys who were completely different but both left the same result; heartbreak.
Its no wonder I love you. You are so different and at the same time a lot of the things I have been wanting in a guy. You re-evaluate where you went wrong, I do the same, and we settle things as adults not children. I may not shut up too soon sometimes but you understand that it's part of my character and I may never stop at 3 sentences when I'm on a roll. You show a dedication that leaves me wanting to pinch myself. And I wanna cry often because I am so happy.
But I miss you. Miss you so damn much.... today, yesterday and the month before. But for some reason today I feel as if I miss you to the max. Where I wanna cry, bury myself in sheets with a bag of the best junk food and ignore the world miss you. Sounds dramatic but it's hard being away from someone you feel so connected with yet haven't even known for that long. Contrary to that... I feel like I have known you for a while. Heck, even a complete stranger (well, now close acquaintance of ours) said he was fooled because he was sure we knew each other for a long time and lived in the same town. You say it confirms your feelings even more and that's not the first time you've said that. It touches me, too. I have never had anyone say to me even when I had dated a close friend!!! And the only person to say we were cute was his mom :rolleyes: I feel more confident with each little word you say that I have made a great risk in trying things again distantly. With a guy PERIOD!
You may remember that I did not want to date anybody until I had my head straight. I am 60% there and with a wonderful boyfriend I would not reverse for the world. You caught me by surprise, as I caught you. And in the end we changed each others outlook and hope for what so many look for: Love. I faught it for so long and then I gave in. In result, I have reaped great rewards thus far. I feel so grateful.
Now, I could speak the cynical side of me and say that I should be cautious and not let this get over my head. But dammit... you are only given so many moments in life to flourish, dwell and experience feelings of any kind. Especially love. I am in love, people. Regardless, there's still a part of me that remains cautious because I refuse to be stepped on and left on a bad note. I am a person as much as I am your girlfriend, lover and friend. You are, too. We both remain real and only see the possibilites. Not what HAS to happen because we know that ANYTHING can happen. Ultimately we want the best but not on selfish conditions and pressure. We're letting it flow.
Still....I wish so badly to be with you tonight. Though, oddly enough I can still feel your touch. :sigh: I love you.
-- Vanessa
-
- Trigs
- 2
Sometimes in life, we just have to let down our defences and barriers that we've built over the years to stop ourselves from getting hurt, and just go for it. When you know in your heart that you truly love someone, don't be constantly taking precautions to protect yourself from getting hurt. Life is all about risk taking. The ride is more enjoyable when you don't have the burden of always trying to be careful.
Or at least thats my take on it.