phs1959

I know everyone reading this will enjoy it - no matter which sex you are.

This morning on the Interstate,I looked over to my left and there was a ... Woman In a brand new Cadillac Doing 75 mphWith her Face up next to her rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds! An...

WHEN RETIRED HUSBANDS GET BORED SHOPPING
 
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my...

  
Should children witness childbirth? Good question. 
 
Here's your answer.

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the
middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wast...

The  Sensitive Man
A  woman meets a man in a bar.
They  talk; they connect; they end
up leaving together.

They  get back to his place,
and  as he shows her around his
apartment.

 

She notices  that one wall of his bedroom is
completely  filled with soft, sweet,
cuddly teddy bears.

 

There  are three...

 

 

A man is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Golly, I wonder what happened to this parrot?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood...

 

Doctors vs. Gunowners

Doctors

 

 

 

(A)   The number of physicians in the U.S. is

 

700,000.

 

 

 

(B)   Accidental deaths caused by Physicians

 

per year are   120,000.

 

 

(C)   Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171

 

 

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of

 

Health and Human Services.  

 

>>>>&gt...

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion , a Chimpanzee , a Giraffe , and a Squirrel , who pass by.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win?
 Your answer will reflect your personality.
So think carefully . ....

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.'You know what?' says the 6 year old. 'I think it's about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year oldcontinues, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say somethingwith hell and you say somethin...

Two fleas from Detroit had an agreement to meet every winter in Miami for a vacation.Last year when one flea gets to Miami, he's all blue, shivering and shaking,darn near froze to death!The other flea asks him, "What the hell happened to you?"The first flea says, "I rode down here in the mustache of ...