Rock Show Power Hour

Hank’s Movie Ratings February

Captivity, (Elisha Cuthbert) - 0/100 - This is the worst thing to happen to film.  Ever.

Death Sentence, (Kevin Bacon) - 27/100 - The Brave One, (Jodie Foster) 72/100 - In both movies someone close to the main character is murdered, opening the door for some crazy vigilante justice.  Death Sentence was ridiculous, getting it all wrong and The Brave One almost got it right.

The Comebacks, (David Koechner) - 29/100 - I knew it would suck. Just not this bad.  It was a silly mistake renting this piece.  I am too embarrassed to ask for my money back.

The Brothers Solomon, (Will Arnett and Will Forte) - 39/100 - I rented this because I enjoy Will Arnett very much.  A little too much.  This movie was bad but in a cute way.  I actually laughed out loud on at least two and a half occasions.

Untraceable, (Diane Lane) - 44/100 - Why Diane?  Why? Why did you choose this movie? Is the director or producer your best in the world friend from your childhood? Was it financial need? Was it the emails I sent you? Did you do this movie to spite me? And Colin Hanks, I won't even get started with you!  The only thing missing in this movie was Elisha Cuthbert. 

Rambo, (Stallone) - 61/100 - Ridiculously Rambotastic!

Good Luck Chuck, (Dane Cook, Jessica Alba) - 61/100 - If Jessica Alba would have been replaced by anyone else, guy or gal, this movie would have rocked the RomCom genre.  Hell, Dane Cook romancing The Calgary with his comedic man-charms would have made this movie a solid 75!  I would have paid double my free rental to take in that action. 

The Nines, (Ryan Reynolds & Sookie from the Gilmore Girls) - 70/100 - Great idea.  Well acted.  Well executed.  The movie was just missing something.  I don't know what but it felt a little empty.  Many people have said that they did not like the end.  I thought the end was perfect. 

Rush Hour 3, (Tucker & Chan) - 78/100 - A thrill ride better than the tilt-a-whirl at the local fair.  Exactly what I was expecting.  Nothing less.  Nothing more.

The Invasion, (Ex of Mr. Crazy & James Bond) - 78/100 Creepy in an updated way.  Hmmmm, I think I will take a nap now.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, (Half Brangelina, Casey Affleck) - 80/100 - This was one of those movies that I did not enjoy watching but I kept saying, "This is a great movie", the whole time I was watching it.  The thing that gets me is everyone talking about Brad and no one talking about Casey.  Casey got a "Supporting" actor Oscar nom. but he had more screen time than Brad.  What is up with that?  This movie would be nothing without big chin's brother.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age, (The same lady who was in the last one & Steamy Clive Owen) - 80/100 - A delightfully fun movie to watch but no one is going to win an acting Oscar for this one.  Unless they give a Best Actress at Costume Changes Oscar?  Cate would win that one for sure!

Cloverfield, (some average joes from New York) - 85/100 - You mean this wasn't real?  Dam. At least now, my motion sickness seems less trivial. 

Halloween, (The Rob Zombie one) - 85/100 - For a remake of a horror classic this movie rocked my Man-socks right off!  The cool thing is that Michael Myers, (Tyler Mane) was born in Saskatoon.  How cool is that!

Stardust, (Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, the real Catwoman) - 85/100 - How can a movie where my favorite actor alive on the planet plays a gay pirate be bad?  It can't.

Across the Universe, (Jim Sturgess & Marliyn Manson's sex partner) - 88/100 - This is one of those movies that you really love or really hate.  I really loved this film.  The movie looked sweet and the songs were awesome but it seemed like Julie Taymor selected her favorite Beatles tunage and wrote the script at the last minute.

La Vie en Rose, (Marion Cotillard) - 89/100 - Where did she come from? I don't know.  Is she going to win the Oscar for best actress?  Yes. A must watch before the Oscars.

Michael Clayton, (George & Tom Wilkinson) - 89/100 - Great film with a fantastic ending but I must have missed something.  An Oscar nomination for Tilda Swinton?  What is that all about?

Eastern Promises, (A nude Aragorn & Naomi Watts) - 89/100 - Honestly, it's all about the nude fight to the death brutal murder scene.  Sweet.  Bloody balls bouncing everywhere!

Gone Baby Gone, (Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, Harris & Freeman) - 89/100 - Ben is definitely better behind the camera than in front.  He should leave the acting to his brother from now on.

No End in Sight, (Some soldiers, some politicians, some people) - 90/100 - A documentary by Charles Ferguson about the never ending struggle in Iraq.  This was an excellent documentary film.  The only thing I did not like was the choppy cut-in-mid-sentence editing.  It made me think about what was cut from the interviews instead of what was being said. 

Atonement, (James McAvoy, Keira Knightley) - 90/100 - Beautiful and emotional from start to finish. A must watch before the Oscars.

There Will be Blood (Daniel who plays a guy named Daniel...weird) - 90/100 - It was awful, the music that is, but it was necessary.  You could skip this bad boy if you are looking for a quick payoff.  This movie is long and at times near silent and really boring.  When making your Oscar picks know this; Daniel Day-Lewis is, as always, superb.

Rescue Dawn, (The Real Batman & Steve Zahn) - 91/100 - That Christian is brilliant.  He will do anything for a role.  No I don't mean bending over the casting couch, you perv! 

Juno, (Ellen Page & The Arrested Development Guy - Yes I know that Cera has been in many things like Superbad and The Berenstain Bears but he stole my heart as George-Michael Bluth so he will always be the The Arrested Development Guy to me) - 92/100 - Witty.  So Witty.  Oh so Witty bright and gay.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, (Depp, Burton's Wife) - 95/100 - Excellent, dark and bloody.  A must see before the Oscars. 

"You mean they sing for the whole movie?  You didn't tell me that.  That's it.  I'm leaving"!

Into the Wild, (Emile Hirsch and a supporting cast of many) - 96/100 - Go watch this movie.  You will not be disappointed.  In fact the only disappointing thing is the lack of Oscar nominations for best director and best film. 

Away from Her, (Julie Christie & Gordon Pinsent) - 98/100 -The best and most emotional movie I have seen in years.  Everyone should check this out and when you see it, bring some tissues.  Lots of tissues and some beverages to keep you hydrated.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0491747/

Ouch, my retinas are on fire!  Combined with all of these films I also watched The Tudors season 1, (97/100) - Californication Season 1, (96/100) - and Dexter Season 1, (90/100).  In case you have not noticed, ladies, I am in desperate need of social interaction.  Call me!

Hank