rockshowpowerhour: Blog

NEMAS is back on the Rock Show Power Hour!

rockshowpowerhour — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 21:06:43 +0000

The Adventures of Stickman Satan 21

rockshowpowerhour — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 22:33:28 +0000

Hank's Movie ratings August

rockshowpowerhour — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 21:59:41 +0000

Hank’s Movie Ratings August

The Dark Knight – 95/100 – Bitchin'! 5 points off for packed plot and child actors.

Wall . E – 91/100 – Eeeeeeeve.....Walleeeeeeeeeee........Eeeeeeeve........Walleee.......

Step Brothers – 88/100 – Nothing beats a movie that blatantly displays a middle aged man's balls!

Hell Boy II – 79/100 – Could have been better, could have been worse.

My Blueberry Nights – 75/100 – After the first few minutes I thought it was going to be a Jude Law centered Key Party but no luck. Oh well, it was still a good movie.

21 – 74/100 – Wait a second, Jim Sturgess is not 21!

Funny Games – 47/100 – There was nothing funny about it. It was sick.

X-Files – 30/100 – Waste of film and a big waste of my time. If I would have know I was going to watch an episode of watered down Criminal Minds then I would have watched it for free at home.

The Ruins – 12/100 – Yes I watched it. The whole thing. Sucks to your ass-mar!

Hank's Movie Ratings July

rockshowpowerhour — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 19:20:47 +0000

Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show – 50/100 – I saw the show but where is the comedy? Silly Vince, the least you could do was throw in an entire performance in the special features?

The Love Guru – 62/100 – It could have been called "Kind -of –Austin-Powers-4ish". Half of the movie was very good and the rest was a loaf of stale moldy bread.

Jumper – 62/100 – I thought I would want to jump off a cliff after watching this one but it was okay. There was no plot and a whole lotta jumping. Stupid but entertaining.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan – 62/100 – It was an Adam Sandler movie.

The Incredible Hulk – 65/100 – Edward Norton was in this movie so it should have kicked some ass but it didn't. Liv Tyler sucked the tar off a sea lion with her performance. Don't make me bored. You wouldn't like me when I am bored!

Be Kind Rewind – 66/100 – When the trailers first came out I wanted to see this movie so bad. With Michel Gondry directing how could it be bad? It was yanked from the theatre after a week so I missed seeing it so I guess that was an indication. It was kind of good and kind of funny and kind of not what it should have been.

Hancock – 70/100 – A little thin...and speaking of thin, there was way too much screen time for Charlize. I thought I was going to a Will Smith movie!

Wanted -83/100 – Ridiculous with a capital "R"eally awesome!

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins –83/100 – Sweet. Martin is back and on the attack!

Diary of the Dead – 84/100 – Awesome. George A. Romero still has it. I would have cut the whole scene at the end where the girl in the white dress goes frolicking through the zombie infested forest but hey, that's just me. Who am I to judge?

Get Smart – 84/100 – Not perfect but great in its attempt to pay tribute to the original while still jazzing up the film.

Definitely, Maybe – 86/100 –Definitely, this movie was wonderful!....

The Spiderwick Chronicles –86/100 – Crazy in a good way.

The Other Boleyn Girl – 88/100 – If the Tudors can't do it in one season then it definitely can't be done in a two hour movie. Besides the jam packed plot, this movie was great with lasting emotional effects.

Kijiji Weight Gain Program

rockshowpowerhour — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 18:58:16 +0000

After receiving many creepy and crazy responses from our last Kijiji postings Hank and I decided to post a couple more. We are still amazed that these weirdo perverts live amongst us. What do they do in their daily lives? Who knows? Where do they work? My first thought is Wal Mart or lululemon. Whoever these people are, they make for good entertainment. Hopefully our new postings will get more replies like these;

“I want to suck yur big toe only”

“Is grapefruit red because if it is I would rub that all over you”

“I have a sheep farm. When can wee meet”

“I have a boyfriend but he is away wrking for the military right now so we shold gets together. Dont worry he wont mind I do it all the time”.

Without further ado I give to you our first new Kijiji personal ad.

Anorexic Amber

I was walking down by the river today and spotted you sitting all skinny-like on a bench snacking on some celery sticks. You look really beautiful but way too thin. I would really like to get to know you and to get you to eat more. I will take you on many a date where we will skip the filet of fresh fish and go right for the meat – a big juicy man-steak! After we start expanding your stomach we could go back to my place and slather each other with ice cream pails full of mashed potatoes. That could be fun? I want to help turn you from Anorexic Amber into Chunky Cheryl. So if that was you on the bench making mouth love to some green vegetables while your long brown hair blew in the wind away from your green lacy-lady blouse then please message me. I want to take you out for dinner tonight.

http://saskatoon.kijiji.ca/c-personals-missed-connections-Anorexic-Amber-W0QQAdIdZ59077982

After posting this my sister Satina pointed out that in order to make it more realistic I should turn of the spell check thingy. Throwing in a misspelled word every now and then should attract more maniacs. I think she is right so Hank wrote this one.

Sobeys Sex Kitten

I was shopping at Sobys yesterday noticed you checking me out while I was searching for soup. I said hello and then I waitd for u in the frozen food isle so you could see my man-nipples stick out of my white shirt. You never showed up. Did i do something to make you angry? I want to meet you again away from groceries maybe we could go for a walk down by the rivr that could be fun? You never now and then maybe we could sip some champain from plastic cups and make out in front of strangers down by the water? Let me know when you want to get together. You were tall with brown hair about 40 wearing sweat panyts and a blue shirt with white writing on the front.

http://saskatoon.kijiji.ca/c-personals-missed-connections-Sobeys-Sex-Kitten-W0QQAdIdZ59289412

This one should get us enough Rock Show material for the year 2009!

Satan

The Adventures of Stickman Satan 20

rockshowpowerhour — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 22:34:23 +0000

Satan's Gran-Gran is Coming to Visit and He Won't Clean His Room!

rockshowpowerhour — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 21:50:19 +0000

Embedded content can only come approved sources. See FAQ for more details.

Kijiji the Garage Sale Killer

rockshowpowerhour — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 18:52:20 +0000

Kijiji the Garage Sale Killer

Until recently I was unaware of the dominance and strength of the mighty Kijiji. While I was slaving away working my man-ass off at the Rock Show Power Hour Studio an entire web world of bargain-bartering and greed was being created just outside the door. Little did I know that the missing piece to my 1988 Milton Bradley board game Clue, (I lost the plastic white rope. I think I swallowed it on a dare), was waiting out there for me in some forty-something soccer mom's treasure chest of missing toys and Chatelaine magazines. The first thing I did when I was introduced to Kijiji the-Garage-Sale-Killer was type in the word "underwear" due to my lazy and desperate need of clean unmentionables. I had been crawling around like a commando for weeks! After hitting the return key I entered a state of shock. For right before my eyes were a dozen or so people selling their used man-panties and lacy lady coverings to the highest bidder. After seeing this I began to get curious about what other wares these poor crazy people would peddle. I found that these demented dealers were selling sailboats, toe-rings, cactus plants and empty cereal boxes. After perusing through many comical commodities, stumbling around this site, I unearthed the greatest item of all. People. By way of the perverse personal ads citizens of many cities are selling themselves to each other not for money, (although there was one guy who was willing to pay a man or woman to smell their feet), but for close casual encounters and maybe a bedroom favour in exchange for a car part or used dish towel set. After reading a few postings by these lonely people I thought that it was sad what they would say to get people to contact them. How lonely these strange souls must be to lie about themselves to get attention. I wiped tears from my eyes and kept reading only to find out that all these Kijijijites are idiots. Like this guy;

I never do this but I can't get you out of my mind I was in the CIBC and couldn't help notice your staring at me. You are dark haired tall and absulty gorgous. We locked eyes only for a moment but that was long enough for me to know your the one.I know you felt it too we had an immediate connection. Our two herts united in that moment and now I long to make my heart whole again. If you are interested in life long love and pleasure please please don't leave me hangng write me and ill make all your dreams come true.[i]

Sorry Desperate Dan. I know that with your grade two education, judging by your spelling, that you think you are smart and sexy but I do not think that there is a mindless maiden out there that would respond to this. Or is there?

My eyes were burning after scrolling through scores of statements from sex starved simpletons, (alliteration for 2000 Alex), so I decided to embark on a pilgrimage of sorts to find out what kind of weirdoes would willingly hook up with a stranger from Kijiji. I recruited by best friend in the whole world, and the underworld, Seymore von Sausagen II to create a profile for me and post personal ads in the degenerate domain. He posted the first one in the "Missed Connections" category;

Fast Food Fun

I was at McDonalds last night around 7:00 nibbling on some McNuggets when I saw you sitting down by the bin full of balls. You unwrapped your cheeseburger so seductively that I had to keep staring. It was when, after your second bite, the mustard stained your chin that I knew that I was in love. I could not approach you because I was dining with my girlfriend. If she wasn't there I would have let you put your hands on my hot apple pie. If you read this please contact me. [ii]

Seymore posted the second ad featuring some of his pet peeves in, "Casual Encounters";

Ladies Fashion

I am looking for a casual encounter with a sexy single lady who has a specific fashion sense. The four things I am looking for in a woman are one who wears; Socks with sandals, fanny packs, jeans without back pockets and Crocs(Dawgs). A woman who wears all or a combination of these items would really turn me on. If you wear these things and are looking for a good time please email me! Please. [iii]

After posting these ads we cracked open a couple of tallboys and waited for a response. We were not disappointed. Within the hour we had our first repulsive reply;

FROM:---------@mail.usask.ca

You can resond to---------@mail.usask.ca by replying to this email

Hi, That was me by the balls! I love to nibble!! Especially on ur hot apple pie. Mustard ist the only thing that stains my chin;)

I hope to hear from u soonnnn...

Janiquoi

In hindsight we should not have posted these ads. Now, when I am outside of the studio, my house or Seymore's trailer that is parked in my driveway I feel unsafe. These people are among us and it scares me more than not knowing if the white rope is still inside me, stuck in my small intestine waiting to sneak up to hang my spleen. You may think Kijiji is all that and a bag of salt and vinegar chips but knowing what I know now I will stick with making fun of freaks at the travelling circus and local yard sales. If you sell things on Kijiji the wakadoos will pick up their purchases at your house, where at a garage sale you get to steal stuff[iv] at theirs.

Hank

[i] http://saskatoon.kijiji.ca/c-personals-missed-connections-Totally-Fabulous-Smoking-Hot-Bank-Teller-W0QQAdIdZ54134719

[ii] http://saskatoon.kijiji.ca/c-personals-missed-connections-Fast-Food-Fun-W0QQAdIdZ54265630

[iii] http://saskatoon.kijiji.ca/c-personals-casual-encounters-Ladies-Fashion-W0QQAdIdZ54266435

[iv] By "steal" I mean barter with the bastards until the sack of bread bag clips is not a penny more than a nickel. "Wow, five cents for a bag of bread clips! What a steal of a deal! To think that poor sucker wanted a dollar. Though I don't know what I am going to do with them ...maybe I'll sell them for five bucks on Kijiji"!

Hank's Movie Ratings June

rockshowpowerhour — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 22:52:00 +0000

Hank’s Movie Ratings June

Strange Wilderness – 10/100 – Garbage. The nature footage voice-over made me laugh but the rest of the movie sucked the balls of a dead goat!

Prince Caspian – 68/100 – If I would have been allowed to edit this movie I could have made it awesome. It would have been easy. I would have killed the mouse, fixed up the battle scene where the ground caves in and cut the sexual tension between Caspian and that girl. Oh, and just for kicks I would have strewn some blood about the battle field. Then the movie would have been a hundred!

Indy – 70/100 – Just what I expected. Cheese and crackers.

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead - 89/100 – A unique emotional movie with superb acting, editing and directing. Phil Hoffman was awesome again. The only problem I had was what happened to Ethan at the end? I need to know. Also, how can a movie with a main character named Hank be bad?

Rambo – 90/100 – Awesome. Exactly what I was expecting. For an action movie this one was worth the watch. It was a “bloody good time”!

Iron Man – 98/100 – Sweet-ass!

Life Lessons from Your Uncle Hank #4

rockshowpowerhour — Thu, 29 May 2008 20:39:02 +0000

Life Lessons from Your Uncle Hank #4

9. Never get your hair trimmed and styled when you are under the influence of a flu-type virus. Coughing and/or sneezing while sitting in the pump-action chair can lead to bleeding scalp and ears. Oh, and the red fluids gushing from your cranium will not equal a free style and shampoo.

“You spread your germs, I spread your blood all over my scissors! Now, hold still”!

10. It is not funny to sneak into a Dollar store and stick $9.99 price tags on a whole row of items. The concept is hilarious but putting it into practise is hard. The problem is that when you take the dollar stickers of the cheap-ass items one of the price tags might accidently fall and stick to your leg, possibly near your nether-regions. The private area price tag may be unnoticed by you but trust me every one of those penny-pinching trash hunters is thinking that, for the low-low price of one dollar, your junk is going to be their treasure.

The Adventures of Stickman Satan 19

rockshowpowerhour — Wed, 28 May 2008 23:16:56 +0000

Hank's Movie Ratings May

rockshowpowerhour — Thu, 01 May 2008 23:37:39 +0000

Hank’s One Line Movie Ratings May

Southland Tales – 51/100 – Justin Timberlake and Buffy make for a bad movie.

Enchanted – 56/100 – Honestly?

30 Days of Night – 70/100 – Bloody, creepy and awesome.

Goya’s Ghosts – 74/100 – Natalie Portman is a religious experience.

Baby Mama – 76/100 – Tiny Fey + Amy Poehler = Super Funny – the Super

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay – 78/100 – R.I.P N.P.H

Forgetting Sarah Marshall – 80/100 – He’s got nothing to be ashamed of...

Run Fat Boy Run – 80/100 – Really short shorts.

The Kite Runner – 88/100 – It’s not just a cool title, there really are kids running with kites!

The Darjeeling Limited – 90/100 – Cramped quarters.

The Savages – 92/100 – Phil Hoffman is the greatest actor of his generation.

The Adventures of Stickman Satan Comics 12 + 14

rockshowpowerhour — Thu, 01 May 2008 23:33:08 +0000

The Adventures of Stickman Satan Comics 7-11

rockshowpowerhour — Thu, 01 May 2008 23:28:57 +0000

The Adventures of Stickman Satan Comics 1-5

rockshowpowerhour — Thu, 01 May 2008 17:33:12 +0000

The Adventures of Stickman Satan 18

rockshowpowerhour — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:07:17 +0000

Book Burning and Bathwater

rockshowpowerhour — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 23:13:15 +0000

Dearest Satan we have not heard you belt out your pet peeves in the shower in a long while. What has happened to you? Have you lost your anger and gone soft on us?

Trudi

Portland

The problem, Trudi, is that I have not taken a shower since I discovered the beautiful round pleasure peach called a bath balm. This hot but crazy temptress called Mandi made me buy some when I was sifting through the shelves of her girl-smelling shop looking for a man-loofah. She told me that after tossing one of these tingling time balms into the bath with me that the only showers that would hit my body would be from the falling rain. I am not one to turn down a try at woman-product bliss so I purchased a plethora of sexy scented snowballs and raced to my bathroom to get nude (so nude in fact, that I even took off my socks)[i]. Once disrobed, I submerged my submarine and the rest of my beefy man-body into the bathwater and dropped the balm. As soon as the ball of bliss hit the high seas of my sex palace pond I knew that my life above ground was never to be the same. The time I spent floating in bubbles and foam with my first bath balm was so exciting and exfoliating that I could never see myself standing in the shower using a sponge to scrub a layer of my skin off ever again. With that said, I am the same super savage beast called Satan. I get angry about everything every day but now I enjoy taking baths to relieve the stress instead of singing in the shower. Have no fear! Your unfriendly neighbourhood Satan will always be here! Speaking of things that make me angry; I hate books that have to have proclamations from a billion publications on their front covers to tell the whole world how great they are (“A must read” – Entertainment Weekly “The best novel of our most recent time” – The New England Journal of Home Cooking). I have been sucked in before so I try to stay away from reading these novels because if they need to pay some lame-ass corporations for a sentence to cut and paste on their work then it must not be worthy. Also, after purchasing[ii] one of these praise jacketed tree remains I would open it to page one, thinking that it was going to be the best thing to hit the planet since the asteroid that killed T-Rex and his friends which would start my pass through the pages with high hopes. In most cases these high hopes would sink and drown like lice from my man-body in the above mentioned balm-basted bathwater. Why would anyone want to sell a book this way? If it is truly a great work of literature then the work should stand for itself and if it is really a murder of language then it will seem like a bloodbath to the people that went in expecting to read “The Hardy Boys #1: The Tower Treasure[iii]”. The only pardon I have given for this peeve is to a wonderful work of fiction that I finished last night called, “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time” by Mark Haddon. While at the local bookshop last week I noticed this novel lying on a dusty table in a dark corner after some rebel reader had tossed it aside. I was curious to find out why this book had been treated like a drunken uncle at a wedding so I picked it up. At first glance I was mildly incensed. The front cover only contained two unnecessary verbalisms; “#1 International Bookseller Whitbread Book of the Year” and “A superb achievement – Ian McEwan”. The cover also contained a picture of an upside down poodle-type dog so I thought I would give it a further inspection. I opened the book, flipped through the description and was further intrigued by mention of an autistic fifteen year old boy who goes on a Sherlock Holmes style man hunt after he is falsely accused of murdering the neighbor’s dog. I was closing the book in preparation of the long ten foot journey to the closest cash register when the front cover flipped open to expose the evil that had been cleverly hidden beneath it. To my horror the canine on the cover was a cut-out, sitting there begging the book’s soon-to-be owner to look behind it. I did look behind it and was appalled to find well over fifteen quotes all showering, and not bathing, high praise upon a book that was probably never opened by the quoted spokesmen. My face flushed with anger and rage and I threw the blameful bonfire-bait back on the table in the dark corner where the last tempted reader shamed and discarded it. I started to storm out of the store when the cashier cut me off with her long kung-fu action arm and inquired about the reason for my rapid departure. After I explained the situation to her she said to me;

“I completely agree with you sir. I have worked in this store for many years and have seen many simple books branded as classics and the faces of many fabulous printings of my favourite books tarnished with pop-culture magazine review scripture. It is definitely a battle to try and figure out which books like these are truly great but trust me on this one. You need to buy that book.”

The book lady made some sense and she kind-of scared me with her long lady-arm so I purchased the acclaim encrusted novel. To my delight, for the first time ever, a novel with a glorification glazed cover was great! Oh, and of course after reading this novel I needed something to make me angry again so I went strolling the streets looking for fanny-pack brandishing, lululemon pants wearing people. They make me so angry. I think I’m going to sing about it before getting in the bath.

Satan

[i] Satan, like many people, finds the sight of humanoid feet quite repulsive. Until the discovery of the mighty balms for his bath Satan wore socks at all times, including when he was slathering soap over his unmentionables in the shower.

[ii] Satan never goes to the local library. It is full of transient donkey farmers and university students.

[iii] Satan should have mentioned a novel like “1984”, “All Quiet on the Western Front” or “Pride and Prejudice” but he just finished reading The Hardy Boys book and it was a page turner! Who can forget such classic plot twists like the boys chasing a stolen jalopy and classic lines like, “Come on boys, I found a swell clue!"? This fiction is fierce!

Listen to NEMAS here and go deaf in a good way!

rockshowpowerhour — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:58:11 +0000

Hank's Movie Ratings April

rockshowpowerhour — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:03:58 +0000

10,000 BC – 14/100 – Stupid.

Lust Caution, (A.K.A Se Jie) – 29/100 –What happened to you Ang Lee? What happened to this movie? It got all the hype about the crazy NC-17 sex romps, which were close to soft-core porn, but after that was over there was nothing left. Sucks to your ass-mar Ang Lee. I quit you!

Semi Pro – 69/100 – Sweaty seventies basketball players are funny. Kind of.

Drillbit Taylor – 69/100 – Unemployed dude protecting nerdy teens is funny. Kind of.

August Rush – 81/100 – I was concerned about watching a movie with a child actor as the lead but I was filled with a “Rush” of happiness and joy when he didn’t suck the ass off a goat.

Hitman – 85/100 – For an action movie based on a great video game this movie surprised me. It was great! The best video game adaptation yet.

Dan in Real Life – 87/100 – Steve Carell was not funny but funny. You know what I mean. It was super keen.

Bank Job – 87/100 – Cool heist movie where the transporter dude tried not to act like the transporter dude. It would have been better if the voices could be heard. I became very proficient at reading lips so thank you Cineplex Odeon.

The Mist – 88/100 – This movie was pretty good but not an 88. I added on extra points because at the end of the film there was a huge ass beast, (like dinosaur tall) walking beside the vehicle that the actors were in and....you are never going to believe this...the truck actually bounced up and down as the creature was strolling past...the ground shook and the actors reacted to it...I am sure that this is a movie first!

Hank

Rock Show Power Hour CONTEST

rockshowpowerhour — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:12:00 +0000

Enter the Contest Now! The draw will be made May 1st!

The Adventures of Stickman Satan #17

rockshowpowerhour — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 16:53:02 +0000

The Adventures of Stickman Satan #16

rockshowpowerhour — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:14:00 +0000

Dear John

rockshowpowerhour — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 20:13:41 +0000

Dear John,

Thank you so much for walking out in front of my car while I was driving down that busy street yesterday. The orange hand told you not to but you did it anyway and I think know why. When you saw me coming, our eyes met for a brief moment. Then you fell in love. During that time, did your heart skip a beat? Did your mind wander from thoughts of grocery lists and the previous night’s episode of Dancing with the Stars to wayward dreams of you and I picnicking on a tropical beach? Were you pouring me cheap wine from a box into a #6 plastic cup that you would later toss into the water after writing a message on it with a Sharpie? Did the message subtly read, “I love bananas”? Well, I love bananas too John. I also love femurs and fibulas, especially my own. Do you love your femur John? As much as I love mine? During my drive down the lane you made it quite clear to me that you do not. In fact, I do believe that you teased me into thinking that you even treasured your tibia. When our eyes met, John, I too had a vision. It is with deep sorrow that I divulge to you that my mind was not clouded with thoughts of man-love and sand but of your approaching afterlife. You were sitting on a dark cloud overlooking a silent swelling sea flush full of #6 plastic drinking glasses that bared various verses on their sides like, “I should have waited for the walking man” and, “I didn’t have to die for a doughnut and a ham sandwich”. That is the real reason why I snapped the steering wheel to the side and bounced my Buick over the boulevard into oncoming traffic. Sure I was afraid, that if I crashed into you, your carcass would destroy my windshield while flying over my car’s chassis spraying your blood everywhere including on my torn up face. I know that the thought of our blood mixing together excites you John but I am not like you. It scared me, the thought of your fluids spreading your obvious blood-born mental disease throughout my body and into my brain turning me into “that guy” who forgets what his mother taught him about crossing the street. That is not the reason why I saved you. I could not run you down when you were on your way to get groceries. Please let a higher power help us, maybe you have children? Maybe you have a whole litter of little Johnnies strewn about on your front lawn eating grass and leaves? Wait, adoption is out, so that would mean that a luckless lady would have had to couple with you? This, now miserable, maiden would have had to be pie-eyed on acid or another potent potion of some kind to have her gray matter so mixed up as to allow her skirt to get pulled up by your hands. The “Hands of John” grasping a sober lassie’s unmentionables is unthinkable. You having never had relations with a woman means that you have most likely never been exposed to the same illicit elixirs that it would take to get your manhood anywhere near her nether regions. Actually, now that I think about it, there is no way that you could afford the narcotics. A grown man who wears a shirt, at least three sizes too small, with Spongebob Squarepants on the front does not have enough cash to purchase the large amount of drugs that it would take to affect a woman’s mind in such a manner. John, what I am trying to tell you is you are dumb. You are mind-wise impaired. You are an inept loony tune with the common sense and social skills of a third graders pet gerbil. Hey John, thanks again for jumping out in front of my fast moving car today. The bliss that I feel for having not killed you and making it home with no broken bones is beyond words so I will conclude this letter. I am glad that you made it across the street to get groceries. You must have been hungry. I did not break your cranium with my car because no man should die on an empty stomach.

Sincerely,

Hank

Question Period #4

rockshowpowerhour — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:47:26 +0000

Beautiful Beth from Edmundston New Brunswick asked us, "The March segment with Satan singing in the shower about Avril Lavigne, is that a real song that you have recorded like Lesbian Seagull and the Urinal Etiquette song? If not, you should turn it into one. It would be crazy funny with a serious beat"! The answer to this question is.......we’re way ahead of you Beth. Satan slipped into the studio a few weeks ago and recorded a sweet version of, "My Dream Avril Lavigne". Satan tried to sound super serious which made it even funnier! Satan’s new single is set to drop on April fool’s Day.

Sexy Susan from Atlanta Georgia asked me, "Have you ever been in a band. Also Hank, you are a funny and smart boy, do you have any band names hidden away that you would want to share with me? I have started a punk rock band and we are at odds over what to call ourselves". Funny you should ask. I came up with the sweetest band name a few nights ago, "Thunder Kitten"! Now that is a band name with lots of Zazz! If that doesn’t rock your socks and matching bra and panty set off then I have a few more, some from back in the day when my band was trying to pick a name. We settled for, "Anger Management" but I had way smarter names than that.

Me and a Samurai – Everyone loves Samurais. They are so mysterious with their swords and cumbersome body-coverings. Are they wearing underpants? No one knows. Sneaky.

Croc Rockers – I was picturing piercings, mohawks and pink Crocs on your feet until I found out that the dudes who sometimes play with Sir Elton call themselves the Crocodile Rockers. Too bad.

Peter Wears Panties – This name would probably work best if someone in the band is named Peter. If no such Peter exists then as long as you have a dude in the band the name will work. Every guy has a "Peter" which makes the name work on a whole different level! Using this band name will pack your venues as tight as Satan packs his man-thongs with tube socks.

Pube Loofahs - One of my favourites. I thought of this name while Satan and I were recording the track, "Satan is a Hairy Beast". Check it out at Trig.com/rockshowpowerhour

Shower Shank – I came up with this name while watching episodes of HBO’s Oz. How many times do I have to say this? "Never go in the shower with a dude who has put his angry eyes in. You want shampoo massaged through your mane not a shank in your spine and you blood in the drain"!

WWVMD, (What would Vic Makey do) – He would pick up an axe and shred the shirts of the sexy ladies in the front row then he would go back to the green room and steal some drugs!

Those are my top picks. I also enjoy Tough Read, Chain-Link Cannibals, Preparation X, Panty Parade, Midwife Madness, Lolita Lollipop, Brown Bunny Boxers and Sucks to Ben Mulroney’s Assmar!

Hank

The Adventures of Stickman Satan #15

rockshowpowerhour — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 22:45:38 +0000