Audio Sanctum

A lot of people that know me don't entirely know what has been going on in my life for the past three years.

3 years ago I was diagnosed with a life long illness called Bi Polar 2 Disorder. At first I didn't really know what to think about it, but I definitely knew how I was feeling at the time.

3 years ago my life imploded. I had to sell my profitable business and move in with my mother, along with my wife. This was very humiliating for me on top of the fact that I had the symptoms of the disorder to deal with.

But let me get to the chase, this isn't a sob story about me, it's really about what I have learned so far 3 years into this life struggle, and one incredible woman's ability and how it can be applied to countless life situations.

As a couple me and my wife didn't know what was happening to me before I got my official medical review. If you don't know how debilitating major depression can be, just Google it and read, a lot of studies have been done.

At first glance, it very well could have looked like I was just being lazy and didn't put much weight to providing for my family. Some wives would have left for a much more glamorous life with someone who got out of bed before noon for weeks on end.

Me and my wife talked and decided that there had to be something wrong and that I needed some sort of help. That's when we went to the doctor, and we figured out what was happening.

I wasn't being lazy like I kept telling myself over and over. And still, to a point, tell myself today. My wife stuck with me and I agreed to take the logical steps to remedy the situation, to live the best life possible with this disorder.

And that was just the beginning. Life has been hard for my wife for 3 solid years. I have done my best to be civil, but living with a chronically depressed person is a chore at times. They are completely unreasonable with themselves. Any slight breeze can knock them off their feet emotionally. But she sticks with me thick and thin. A lot of it comes from her commitment to our marriage, but what I want to focus on is her empathy.

Even people without disorders can get depressed from bad situations, and this is what happened to my wife. And the bad situation was our bad situation, financial, emotionally as well as spiritually. She has had some depression as well, but luckily it was not as severe as mine and faded often.

I can feel her empathy when I am having a massive depressive episode. She's trying her hardest to put herself in my shoes, so-to-speak. And it is a wonderful help to me. I know she's taking her experience, as well as knowledge, of what I am going through and using it to try to build me up.

She is an inspiration to me to be more empathetic in all that I do. And I don't measure up at times, but I want to be like here in the way that she tries her hardest to be the best person she can be.

Another important thing about my disorder is one of its most serious of symptoms: Suicidal Thoughts and Ideations. A lot of people look at people with these thoughts as weak, but in actuality there are just misinformed. With some research, you can find out that about 50% of Bi Polar Disorder patients have at least 1 suicide attempt. That means they went beyond just the normal thoughts and acted on them. Again, at first glance, someone with a wife and family that loves him is a fool to take his own life. But you have to dig deeper than that and find out that its actually a part of the illness, just as low blood sugar is a part of the disease of diabetes.

My wife, although terrified of the thought of my suicidal thoughts, did not look at me as a weak selfish person. And without that support, that empathy, I don't know what my life would be like now, or even if I would be alive at all.

This world is chock full of emotional, physical and mental problems and disorders that are caused by trauma and circumstance. I deeply encourage everyone on this planet to avail themselves of the resources available to learn about these types of problems that ail so many people in this world. So they can try to be empathetic to the problems their loved ones may face.