LLgemini

So the day is Sat. May 17, 2008 and its 4am. I'm waking up and I am waking my husband up. He needs to get up cause today he is leaving for 4 months to the desert!  I'm sad the day has come to soon and now i feel we haven't spent enough time together.  The day is going to be hard cause instead of coming home to an empty house i have my reserve drill. Duty calls on both our ends you could say.  He flew to baltimore only to stay the night. He left there sunday evening and it was the last time i talked to him. My emotions are up one minute and down the next.  I know as a soldier myself the risks and rewards of the job. But as a wife well this is a learning exprience. The overwhelming feeling is well overwhelming at times and calm the next. I keep telling my self to focus on the days ahead for they will pass quickly. however my heart aches with each passing second. Wondering, Wondering, Wondering.  when does it end when i know i hear his voice again on the other end telling me he made it safely.  It pains me to no end that the person i love so dearly will not be coming home tonight and that the other side of the bed is empty each night.  The words i write now our words that as i feel them come make me all choked up. Fighting the tears of lonelyness is my main objective for if they come i don't really know if my heart can take them.  The soldier in me tells me that everything is alright and to be strong.  But when the heart aches and longs it will be the driving force to all things.  I must take the wheel and steer on my own accord even if that means letting a few tears drop ever once in awhile.

To love forever and always!