Satan
Age: Old but still sprightly/////City: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Canada/////Home Town: Upper Rideau Lake, Ontario Canada/////Status: In a nightly relationship with many different ladies and the occasional dude/////Occupation: Lord of the Underworld, Movie Star and rabbit wrangler/////About Satan: When Satan is not on the air as the true hunkiest slice of man-ham host of the Rock Show Power Hour he spends most of his time with his best buddy Hank hanging out with their wangs out reading Moby Dick while sipping the juice from cans of fruit cocktail. Satan is a 6'9 sassy Latino man-steak with black menacing eyes, a porcupine sized man-area and bouncy buttocks shaped like cans of tuna. He lives in a duplex with his goat Chucky and a rotating supply of sweet and easy sorority sisters. The Prince of Darkness was re-born (literally) in 1979. Satan says,
"I had hit a point in my life where I needed a change in scenery so I quit my job and moved into my Mom Tracy's uterus and was re-born in the galley of my Father Jacob's fishing barge in the middle of Rideau Lake. I worked the barge with my pops from the age of four until the lake snatched him away in the Great Salty Squall of '88. Soon after the storm we moved to the tiny Hispanic fishing village of Westport Ontario where I began stealing new-born babies with the Gypsies of Sault Saint Marie and my Mom pursued a career in whoring for crack. A few years later I met the sexy slice of man- pepperoni that we call Hank. When I first saw him, he was all screwed up from sucking back the Screech stripping his clothes off in front of some lonely seamen. I watched his performance (I can't say no to a free show) and when he passed out I carried him back to my pleasure man-palace. I was hoping to find my Mom there so she could help me get Hank into a cold shower but instead I found Johnny Law. Apparently, granting strangers access to certain parts of your body for money is illegal so they were attempting to take my Mom down to the pokey. I tore the fuzz off my Mom, grabbed a still-slumbering Hank and we made a rapid retreat. We hit the open road bound for the one place where we knew that no one would come looking for us...Saskatoon. Once we arrived, Hank met and convinced Mr. Michael the Mute to give us a job hosting the Rock Show Power Hour on Kris 69.1 F.M. and it has been all horny honeys and mai tais ever since".
"I had hit a point in my life where I needed a change in scenery so I quit my job and moved into my Mom Tracy's uterus and was re-born in the galley of my Father Jacob's fishing barge in the middle of Rideau Lake. I worked the barge with my pops from the age of four until the lake snatched him away in the Great Salty Squall of '88. Soon after the storm we moved to the tiny Hispanic fishing village of Westport Ontario where I began stealing new-born babies with the Gypsies of Sault Saint Marie and my Mom pursued a career in whoring for crack. A few years later I met the sexy slice of man- pepperoni that we call Hank. When I first saw him, he was all screwed up from sucking back the Screech stripping his clothes off in front of some lonely seamen. I watched his performance (I can't say no to a free show) and when he passed out I carried him back to my pleasure man-palace. I was hoping to find my Mom there so she could help me get Hank into a cold shower but instead I found Johnny Law. Apparently, granting strangers access to certain parts of your body for money is illegal so they were attempting to take my Mom down to the pokey. I tore the fuzz off my Mom, grabbed a still-slumbering Hank and we made a rapid retreat. We hit the open road bound for the one place where we knew that no one would come looking for us...Saskatoon. Once we arrived, Hank met and convinced Mr. Michael the Mute to give us a job hosting the Rock Show Power Hour on Kris 69.1 F.M. and it has been all horny honeys and mai tais ever since".
