The Calgary

Pick-Up Line 11

I was at Broken City last night looking for some indie music lovin' ladies when I spied this breathtaking brunette shaking her sweet sugar cubes out on the dance floor.  I swaggered over to her and said,

"Hey baby-girl, do you know who my favorite singer is?  It's Mick Jagger.  He ...

Pick-Up Line 10

Yes, Hank and I drank some of Jeb's Grandpappy's Hooch and decided to record this line and from the emails that we are getting we should do that more often!  We are funny and freaky! 

Hank, Satan and I were at a hot New Year's Eve party when I spotted this gorgeous gal, Meagen, fr...

Pick-Up Line 9

I was at the mall buying some silk man-panties for Satan when I noticed a naughty elf sitting on the lap of a mall Santa.  I pulled her off the old perv's package and said;

Hey baby girl, can I take your picture?  I want to show the "real" Santa exactly what I want for Christmas this ...

Pick-Up Line 8

Now this one is for the ladies!

I was at the local sex-club when this lady of the night walked up to me and said;

"Hey baby, can I borrow a smoke"?

I whipped, (pun intended), one out of the waistband of my leather man-thong and handed it to the vixen.  She grabbed it, (pun intended), a...

Pick-Up Line 7

I went to the dentist the other day and when the hot brunette Doctor came in to inspect my teeth I said, "I may not have taken your virginity but can I at least have the box it came in"?  After those words left my mouth she began drilling more than my teeth if you know what I mean!!!a...

Pick-Up Line 6

I went on a bit of a Va-K to get L-A-Yed and I used this line to pick-up some beach bunnies.

Hey Sugar, do you have a keg in your bikini?  'Cause I so wanna tap that ass!!

Try this one out tonight.  It will work.

The Calgary

Pick-Up Line 5

I was at the Stampede a couple weeks ago and this is the line that I used to make babies.

Hey girl, wanna play house?  You can be the door and I will slam you all night long!

Ladies, go pry on those tight fitting jeans/dudes, shine up those big-ass buckles and go try this line out tonig...

Pick-Up Line #4

It is summer out there so if you want to get even more hot and sweaty use this line on a lovely lady, (Sorry ladies but this line is for the dudes only).

Hey baby, do you work for UPS?  Because I could have sworn I saw you check out my package!

The Calgary

Pick-Up Line #3

Okay here is a toughie!  If you can make it through without getting slapped in the face or kneed in the groin then you are going to be seeing some undies hit the carpet or the linoleum or the sand or the...well you get it.

Hey baby, if you were an Oreo you'd be double-stuffed! 

Good ...