the_calgary: Blog

Super Shawn Wants to be Your Friend

the_calgary — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 18:39:05 +0000

Come get all freaky deaky with us on Facebook

the_calgary — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:40:16 +0000

Hello my freaky femmes and dudes. The Calgary has created an extra special treat for you. He has promoted himself to the position of Rock Show Power Hour Project Manager and created a group on the crazy thing called Facebook. It is open to everyone, kind of like The Calgary’s bed, so please join now.

Mike

Pick-Up Line 18

the_calgary — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 20:09:29 +0000

I was at the University of Calgary Book Store the other evening and ran into this blond haired hot tamale of a temptress named Rebecca. I was searching for the newest version of the zillion dollar math text that I needed for the new semester when she snuck up behind me and whispered in my ear;

“If you were a function, would you be my derivative? Then you can lay tangent to my curves”.

After she used that pick-up line on me I lifted her into my beefy man-arms and carried her to the human sexuality section of the book store and we performed the acts listed on page 22-69 of the Kama Sutra. If you need some action go out and use this line tonight. It worked for Rebecca and it is guaranteed to work for you. Well, almost guaranteed, I’m a bad example – I’m super easy, any line will work on me.

Good luck and thanks for reading.

Love the math geek know as The Calgary

U+I=69

NEMAS is back on the Rock Show Power Hour!

the_calgary — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 21:23:54 +0000

The Calgary at the Stampede

the_calgary — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 18:36:26 +0000

Hello lovely lassies and dudes. I have to tell you what happened to me at the Calgary Stampede. I was watching a crazy rodeo show when these two sexy cowgirls walked past me. I whipped out my trusty lasso that was hanging from my assless chaps and caught the freaky femmes before they could find another cowboy to ride. I pulled them towards me and said;

Hey ladies it looks like you need me to rope up those calves of yours!

After I dished out my new pick-up line these beautiful babes from The Regina, (yes Heather and Natalie are from the Regina....who knew that ladies lived there?), slammed their shiny she-spurs in my ass and rode me until the cows came home. Yee Haw. All you cowgirls and cowboys out there should try this line tonight. It is guaranteed to have you tying up you love partners calves faster than Hank running away from an angry bear.

The Calgary

Pick-Up Line 16

the_calgary — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:36:33 +0000

Hello my lovely ladies and dudes you will never believe what happened to me. Usually it is me dishing out the lines but last night a sexy she-devil named Heather picked-me up, literally, and took me back to her hotel room for some late night love-making. I was standing against a wall surveying the surroundings for sex-play mates when Heather walked up to me and asked me to look at her tongue. She said;

“Excuse me. I think there is something wrong with my tongue ‘cause you have it tied up in knots”!

After she said that, she grabbed me and we went straight to her room only stopping for a second so I could shirt-fish for her room key that was swimming between her beautiful bouncing breasts. We spent the rest of the night being sneaky and freaky on the bed, the floor, in the shower and out on the second floor balcony! She rubbed me raw and I guarantee that if you use this line you will get rubbed the-right-way too!

The Calgary

Pick-up Line #15

the_calgary — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 20:13:54 +0000

Hello my freaky females and dudes my name is the Calgary and here is another pick-up line for you, (this one is courtesy of one of the sexiest ladies in all the land, Kimber). I was recently, as you have probably heard, hunting the mighty Kroeger with my buddies Hank and Satan up near Hanna Alberta. All of that walking in the bush made me horny so I ditched those dudes and snuck into the nearest bar looking for some sweet female to take into the loft of the nearest barn. When I walked into the local Hanna watering dive I spotted a cute country girl. I skipped ordering a drink and walked right up to her with my tongue hanging out like a thirsty savage beast. I said;

Hey baby-girl, you must be a light switch ‘cause every time I see you I just want to turn you on!

She decided to skip buying me a drink so she could satisfy my thirst in the sack! Try this line out tonight, it is guaranteed to work!

The Calgary

Pick-Up Line #14

the_calgary — Thu, 01 May 2008 23:56:47 +0000

Pick-Up Line 14

I was hanging out where all the girls gather, the alley behind the University of Calgary Bar, when I was approached by a bombshell brunette. She walked over to me and I said, "I am writing a term paper on the finer things in life, can I interview you"? She was all too eager to help me with the problem I was having with my term paper and the problem I was having in my pants. The best part was that she gave me a student discount! Try this line tonight. It is guaranteed to work.

The Calgary

The Adventures of Stickman Satan 18

the_calgary — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:10:04 +0000

Pick-Up Line #13

the_calgary — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 19:24:10 +0000

Last night I slipped on my sexiest suit and went out cruising for chicks in my Chevette. I pulled up beside the most beautiful blond that I had ever seen. She asked me,

“What do you do”?

To which I replied, “I am a lawyer. I am trained to get you off”!

After she heard that, the sexy she-devil ripped me out of my car and my bare man-ass was bouncing up and down on the boulevard faster than a squirrel scratching at fleas! This weekend get all dressed up and try this line. It comes with my personal guarantee of your complete satisfaction in the sack!

The Calgary

NEMAS Rocks my Man-Thong Off!

the_calgary — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 19:15:38 +0000

Check out NEMAS on the Rock Show Power Hour this month. If you want to hear more, (or less because you have their tunes cranked up so freaking loud) then visit nemasonline.com!

The Adventures of Stickman Satan #16

the_calgary — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:15:05 +0000

The Calgary's Shirtless Moving Posse

the_calgary — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 22:52:06 +0000

Hello lovely ladies. Are you into taking off your shirt and lifting heavy boxes? If so, then do I ever have a special treat for you. That tasty treat is called, “The Calgary’s Shirtless Moving Posse”! The Calgary is leaving his old sex shack in search of a new love lair and he sure needs your help. If you are living in the Calgary or will be around this fine prairie city at the end of April and would like to join The Calgary’s Shirtless Moving Posse then start saving your cardboard boxes and send an email to The Calgary at rockshowpowerhourcalgary@hotmail.com. At the end of April you will get to take off your shirt and grab the Calgary’s package and slide it into your box......and move it to his new fornication fortress. It will take all day and all night-helping the Calgary move is what you will do-and if you are lucky enough he just might-move right into you!

Hank

Pick-Up Line #12

the_calgary — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 22:48:05 +0000

I first would like to apologize for being tardy to all the people out there who were counting on my new line to get them laid. I was bedding several ski-bunnies in Banff for the past week and did not have a chance to call Hank with my new line. You know how it is...one moment you are enjoying sliding down the slopes and the next minute a breathtaking beauty is sliding your pants down! Speaking of my pants disappearing, I was at the University of Calgary Library a few weeks ago when I noticed the hottest campus-cutey that I have ever seen. I walked up to her and said, “Hey baby I am going to get a library card because I so want to check you out”! After I dropped my line on her she dropped me down to the ground beside the paperback copies of Moby Dick and floundered around on top of me like a beached whale! This line worked for me and I am sure that it will work for you.

The Calgary

Do you have a pick-up line that has gotten you into some headboard banging bedroom action that you think I should use in one of my segments? If so, then send me an email to rockshowpowerhourcalgary@hotmail.com right now!

Rock Show Merchandise Makes You Feel Sexy!

the_calgary — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:44:19 +0000

Hank, Satan, The Calgary and the rest of the Rock Show Power Hour gang are poor! They need funding for much needed life supplies like donkey shampoo, man-thongs and cans of Prem so please help them out by purchasing some sweet merchandise! Go to zazzle.com/rockshowpowerhour right now! Pretty please...

Pick-Up Line #11

the_calgary — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 18:10:04 +0000

Pick-Up Line 11

I was at Broken City last night looking for some indie music lovin' ladies when I spied this breathtaking brunette shaking her sweet sugar cubes out on the dance floor. I swaggered over to her and said,

"Hey baby-girl, do you know who my favorite singer is? It's Mick Jagger. He can't get no satisfaction and either can I. Do you wanna help me out with that"?

Of course she said "yes" and before I knew it we were back at her pad doing things to each other that people wouldn't even do to farm animals! Try this line out tonight!

The Calgary

Reader Responses #2

the_calgary — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:34:11 +0000

About timeFrom: Meagen Mulligan (____________@yahoo.com) September 16, 2007 11:58:50 AMTo: rockshowpowerhourcalgary@hotmail.com

Hi Calgary. I finaly got one of your lines to get me sex. I saw this cute boy last night at a club and I walked up to him and used your polarbear line to try and break the ice. He was not really interested in me at first but then when I told him I had a keg in my panties and that he better tap my ass he went for it and I got him to take me back to his place for some loving. It did not last very long and it was not very good. I think that you should accompany your pick up lines with tips for men in the bedroom! You are a cute guy with lots of bedroom experience right? Help these dudes out. Meagen

Well, Meagen, I am glad that my lines helped you get some sweet action. I am sorry but I give the dudes the tools that they need to get into your panties not what to do when they are hanging from the ceiling fan in your love lair!

Sexy PictureFrom: Holly Anderson (_____________@hotmail.com) You may not know this sender. Mark as safe | Mark as unsafe Sent:November 6, 2007 9:27:35 AMTo: rockshowpowerhourcalgary@hotmail.com

Hi Calgary. That new picture is sooooo sexy. If you are not already, you should be a model. Oh, you drive me and my girlfriends crazy here in Edmonton! We want more.

Hollykins

I am a sexy beast!

FW: The CalgaryFrom: Hank Cruise (rockshowpowerhourwithhank@hotmail.com) Add contact Sent:January 10, 2008 9:50:39 PMTo: rockshowpowerhourcalgary@hotmail.com (rockshowpowerhourcalgary@hotmail.com)

You lucky bastard.
Hank

Date: Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:51:17 -0800
From: _________________ @yahoo.com
Subject: The Calgary
To: rockshowpowerhourwithhank@hotmail.com

Hi Hank I was hoping you could help me out. I want to send the Calgary an extra specail treat for mentioning me in his segment. Could you tell me some things that he likes, like his favorite color, and I will incorporate them into a sexy photo of myself? Thanks and if you are lucky I will send you one too. Toodles. Meg

I like all kinds of ladies and my favorite color is NUDE!

mention me too:)

From: ???? (______@yahoo.com)
You may not know this sender. Mark as safe | Mark as unsafe

Sent:

January 23, 2008 8:16:19 AM

To:

rockshowpowerhourcalgary@hotmail.com

<style>.ExternalClass DIV{;}</style>

Hi Calgary. My friend _______ said that if I sent you a little suprise that you might mention me on your segment. I hope I am in time. If not maybe you and Hank could mention me some other time. I hope you like the picture. My boyfriend would kill me if he knew I sent this to you! Lol! What he doesn't know won't hurt him I guess and man will he be excited if he hears my name. He loves listening to the Rock Show too! Thank you Calgary.

*** ATTENTION LOVELY LADIES *** If you would like to be mentioned on my segment on The Rock Show Power Hour you just have to send me a sexy photo of yourself. It's pretty easy to do. Grab a digital camera, point it at yourself and snap away. Then send the picture to me at rockshowpowerhourcalgary@hotmail.com! The sexier the snapshot - the sooner you will be mentioned on the Rock Show!

The Calgary

Pick-Up Line #10

the_calgary — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:08:34 +0000

Pick-Up Line 10

Yes, Hank and I drank some of Jeb's Grandpappy's Hooch and decided to record this line and from the emails that we are getting we should do that more often! We are funny and freaky!

Hank, Satan and I were at a hot New Year's Eve party when I spotted this gorgeous gal, Meagen, from across the room. I walked over to her and said;

"Hello lovely lady, my name is Doug. That's GOD spelled backwards with a little bit of U in it"!

After those words left my mouth, Meagen said;

"Silly boy you can't fool me. Your name is not Doug, it's The Calgary. I've seen your sexy man-chest on the internet. I think you are so cute. Let's go back to my place and screw like rabbits"!

It was spicy hot!

I am The Calgary

Pick-Up LIne #9

the_calgary — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:07:58 +0000

Pick-Up Line 9

I was at the mall buying some silk man-panties for Satan when I noticed a naughty elf sitting on the lap of a mall Santa. I pulled her off the old perv's package and said;

Hey baby girl, can I take your picture? I want to show the "real" Santa exactly what I want for Christmas this year!

She said yes and the next thing you know I'm sipping some spicy eggnog while taking some topless photos of her in the back of Santa's workshop.

Happy Holidays. You can meet me under the mistletoe any time!

The Calgary

Pick-Up Line #8

the_calgary — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:07:16 +0000

Pick-Up Line 8

Now this one is for the ladies!

I was at the local sex-club when this lady of the night walked up to me and said;

"Hey baby, can I borrow a smoke"?

I whipped, (pun intended), one out of the waistband of my leather man-thong and handed it to the vixen. She grabbed it, (pun intended), and said;

"Thanks, but I don't smoke. I just wanted something of yours in my mouth".

Well after she said that, I went all Richard Gere in Pretty Woman on her ass. She liked it.

I am The Calgary

Pick-UP LInes #7

the_calgary — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:06:39 +0000

Pick-Up Line 7

I went to the dentist the other day and when the hot brunette Doctor came in to inspect my teeth I said, "I may not have taken your virginity but can I at least have the box it came in"? After those words left my mouth she began drilling more than my teeth if you know what I mean!!! Try this line out tonight!

The Calgary

Pick-Up Line #6

the_calgary — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:06:04 +0000

Pick-Up Line 6

I went on a bit of a Va-K to get L-A-Yed and I used this line to pick-up some beach bunnies.

Hey Sugar, do you have a keg in your bikini? 'Cause I so wanna tap that ass!!

Try this one out tonight. It will work.

The Calgary

Pick-Up LIne #5

the_calgary — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:05:28 +0000

Pick-Up Line 5

I was at the Stampede a couple weeks ago and this is the line that I used to make babies.

Hey girl, wanna play house? You can be the door and I will slam you all night long!

Ladies, go pry on those tight fitting jeans/dudes, shine up those big-ass buckles and go try this line out tonight!

The Calgary

Pick-Up Line #4

the_calgary — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:04:50 +0000

Pick-Up Line #4

It is summer out there so if you want to get even more hot and sweaty use this line on a lovely lady, (Sorry ladies but this line is for the dudes only).

Hey baby, do you work for UPS? Because I could have sworn I saw you check out my package!

The Calgary

Pick-Up Line #3

the_calgary — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:04:00 +0000

Pick-Up Line #3

Okay here is a toughie! If you can make it through without getting slapped in the face or kneed in the groin then you are going to be seeing some undies hit the carpet or the linoleum or the sand or the...well you get it.

Hey baby, if you were an Oreo you'd be double-stuffed!

Good luck.

The Calgary