thefirstmagenta: Blog

Witching hour.....

thefirstmagenta — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 22:07:25 +0000

What now....                                                                                     Always on my mind.....Matthew H...

There are oceans battling their creator......
    Sad, lonely men walking on damaged ground....
There is love but where is it?
Is it in my hands...am I reaching...or is it in my dreams?
I turn my  back to breath and you have already taken it.....
Crept in my souls bottom and spread the disease.....
A light fog is all I see after I wipe these tears....
A faint smell of a mistake that has no repair...

A soul....my soul .... A fleeting beauty in disguise
A soft touch hidden with a past that test my strength
   Iam awake but still dreaming
Iam falling but loving the rush...
I kneel but not in prayer.....
   I am honest but liers will never see......

There are notes unsung....
   And your voice wrapping around me and everyone...
The weakness I fear has made me victorious
Your stern hand did not break the mold...
   My doubts have been recovered....

Your love is like a death....
    Is there really a difference???
You float where I can not see....
If in my lucky hour you appear to me...
A ghost solid.....not hollow
Making no sense to the mind....but overpowering the heart,...

A man waiting at my side.....
  Making love to my spirit ....
Leaving everything else behind....
You do no understand me.....
I am like everyone else you say
   But iam not...

I feed on my passion....
Id love you if you would take off your armor?......
Let it fall at my feet....
  It would wash away down this golden street...

  Euphoric
   Love felt
A steady hand
   Two naked bodies giving it all away ....
A thrill...danger
   Tricky rules....blind folded

Similar to an end....
   But the beginning of a crippling emotion....
Stripping the old away....
Becoming the unicorn untamed....unattainable lust.....

Behind every love..there is a wicked twisted lust.....
   Where black doors are red....
And birds have no wings....
    And we are cloned.....

Forced upon rules that were made up.....
   Canvas that was once blank....
Now sets the scene of the creative hand....
A perception most leave out....

Why do we speak?
   Why do we wonder?
Why do we hope?

Like a flute..... with all its notes
   Tells a story.....in a melody
  Like a human....with all its skin.....
   Has to feel something......

blank sky

thefirstmagenta — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 05:43:34 +0000

i tried to stop myself, look at every thing that could go wrong and when it came down to it,
    i knew i was safe, we lost ourselves when we stopped believing in the sun....

we broke apart when you lost your mind...
when you cried because you had killed my dreams...
failing to see the reason why you had ruined all time....
i stole for you and you threw it back ....i cant go on,,,
you think i liked that hurt ...the pain...the nothing
you were here and then gone.....the crashing smiles...covered in your memory,,,
iam drenched in your sins..your smut..you fooled me..i wish you were dead...
stray from your cave of slaves to come into my world jus long enough to fuck it all up.
you made me a whore when you laid me....over and over agian...

now you want a saint... to set on your stand..
  after you leave me stained with your sex....

    you confused my mind to what was safe.....
you  abuse, come to me crying labling youself the victim

Tell me how ya really feel.....

thefirstmagenta — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 04:50:08 +0000

I'am tired of talking and tired of trying to help you and you walking away like it never happened..
You do not hold a mind of your own and for that I find you weak... You lack what I feed on everyday that is creativity and self-awareness.... You do not make me smile I find you sad....you cut your wrist for attention and somehow I feel like the fool... I gave you my hand and now I wanna push you away with it....I say go crawl in a hole cause thats where you belong..turn your back on your family and friends who nearly saw you bleed to death...live in a box of your own sorrow.... You can run but you cant hide from yourself....

.............

thefirstmagenta — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:45:24 +0000

A pill won't help me..
I can't escape my insanity.
You think you know me-
You'd be surprised if you tempted me....
Death is at my back..
Like a dark hallway..
Leaves you crippled and cold..
I need something in my veins-
that makes me aware of my fears,,,
I never judge a soul...
So why point your finger at me????
You have your money and riches,,
I have the strength I count on...
Never to be robbed from me....
I wear scars on my arms...
A reminder of an outlet-
that will not fade...
You put me in that building...
Fed me all these lies-
Told me I was crazy..
Now look who has to lie......

You fucked my mind...
Crawled in and raped..
The only thing I had-
A voice so discreet...
A fortress of regrets-
Thrown in my face..
After all this I say:
Anger is all I can taste..
Will anything calm me?
Will anybody want me?
If you try to effect me...
Will you love me..
or will you break me??

Nothing left to say....

thefirstmagenta — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:42:51 +0000

I can't even speak...
Remembering you   is easy...
Telling myself your gone..
   Is a task of my everyday life..
  The love I had somehow dissappeared..
   I hear your voice in the halls
   I see you in my dreams
Your hands still grasp my soul..
I wish I would have died...
  At times I forget your gone..
Crying over a smell
Knowing you'll never call me again.
I truely don't know If I'll get by,,,
Your life was taken too soon..
If i was half the person you were...
I could land on my feet..
The world lost an angel..
   The day you were taken away..
   I pray I find a love like the love I found in you..
   I don't wanna feel lost anymore...
   That's the price you pay....
   If I could have one more day with you...
   I'd let you know...
   You were the love of my life..
   And my heart never stopped beating for you.....

Blog for November 29, 2007

thefirstmagenta — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 02:30:34 +0000

It seemed that there was a door....
A man , with deceitful skin took me along a wall
I wanted the feeling of looking into his eyes
He had none, I had no way out..
His power evident with sickness and confusion
He knocked me to my knees..
Pleased with my head down..
He took over every instinct I've ever had and ever will
The touch slithered through my body and split my emotions in half
All of my figure exposed for the others ....
Once, where there was a voice..
The voice died and crept down into the holes of the weakest humans
Scattered pieces of life..
I now had to pick up..
He left me incomplete...
I would have cried..
But he beat the tears out of me...
I was the night..
Deep inside of a regret
He chained me to his fears..
Like maggots to a death
Like a scream that won't shake
A Forbidden lack of faith....
A fucking blow to the head..

JUST ONE OF MY MANY WRITINGS.......

thefirstmagenta — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:32:18 +0000

     I WANNA LOSE CONTROL
     FEEL YOUR HANDS GO THROUGH MY SOUL
     GET AWAY FROM PAIN
     THAT EATS AWAY AT MY SENSES

     DID I EVER HAVE ANYTHING I COULD CALL MY OWN?
   WHY SPIRAL DOWN INTO NOTHING
   I HAVE TRIED TO ESCAPE FEAR
   WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?

   LOVE IS DESTROYING ME
   CAN YOU BRING ME BACK,
   CAN YOU FIND A WAY,
   TO ERASE THE THINGS THAT I HAVE DONE ?

      DARK CIRCLES APPEAR BENEATH MY EYES
      BREAKING BONES-
    SUNKEN SKIN SPREADS APART
      LEFT BLACK AND COLD

THE MAN WHO COULD NOT LIVE
     I CAN NOT SEE YOU ANYMORE
      WALKING ALL OVER MY BODY
      BLEEDING OUT OF EVERY PORE

      I HAVE ENTERED YOUR MIND BEFORE
      ALL FUCKED UP ON LIES
      YOU ATTEMPT TO CREATE A NEW YOU-
BUT YOU WILL BE THE THERE TOO....