M Logan

Wasted Time.  (Im going to bitch a lot in here, so walk away)

Im 24 years old.  I work all over the country, depending on where my job is that particular half-a-year or whatever.  Seems lovely.  It can be lovely.  It can also be exhausting.  I work sometimes 75 hours a week, and an so exhausted at the end of a 13 or 14 hour day that I cant even get off the couch.  Im never in the same place long enough to meet friends of any substance, though in Arizona I went bowling every Thursday with Neil Rackers (kicker for the NFl's Arizona Cardinals)  Ballin. 

On weekends, I am either stuck here working, or rushing to get the hell out of here because its a 4 hour drive home if Im lucky to beat DC traffic.   When i get home, honestly, I just want to lay down and watch a movie.  I dont ever feel like going out anymore.  Ive become so utterly lazy its disgusting.  I am never in the same place long enought o find a gym, and its so much easier just to crash in front of the TV after work than run....

I really do like what I am doing.  I would like to stay in project management, I just really need to settle in somewhere.  I need some semblance of a routine so I can accomplish other things.  People say their daily 9-5 is boring, but this rigorous travel happy job I have is crippling.  I can never make plans becuse I dont know what state Ill be in that month, or if I do, I may have to be in work that weekend.  My friends are all going out and having a ball, and Im missing out on all the fun because I get stuck at work until 8pm on a Friday night and Im still 4 hours from getting home, so I just crash at this house in VA. 

This weekend was a blast, and it reminded me of two things. 
1.  My friends are great, and Im wasting a lot of time not enjoying our time together before we all settle in and get married.
2.  I am going to miss out on the whole settling down and getting married thing if I keep going like this.

If you dont know this, I was with a girl for 2 and a half years until about 11 months ago when I started this job.  Within a month the constant seperation and the knowledge that it wasnt going to change in the next few years was enough to kill that whole thing.  There is a lot more to it than that, but without this job, we would probably still be together.  I honestly think that is for the better, because I was unhappy with her by then end anyway, but I digress.

In the past three weeks I have had multiple drunken conversations with a very close friend about 'what could have been' If I hadnt been with the other girl in college, and was with this friend instead.  We have always connected, are great friends, but never were 'romantically involved.'  she basically told me, twice, that, if she didnt know I was leaving the state at the end of the weekend, she would break off her current thing and see how turned out between us.  But that it was basically more convenient for her to stay with her current guy because he is around....

I am not going to quit my job because I know I am setting myself up for a decent career in something I enjoy doing, and I dont want to risk that by quitting and burning a bridge, but if I got a call for a local job in the same feild, I wouldnt even think twice.