vgar_12

I'm A Native American Indian Originally from Poplar, MT. on the Fort Peck REZ. I grew up in a foster home(same one always)and moved to Billings, MT when I was  6. Grew up on the south side where I was one of the only Indians in my age-group. meant I had to fight for my identity, which I never was sure of for a long time because my foster-parents were White. had my first kid at age 17, got married to my present woman when I turned 20, and we have had 6 chidren, one about every 2 years. Now have 4 grand-chidren that have made me grateful to Jesus to still be aliveafter living recklessly until Iwas31 when I quit drinking. thats after my wife threatened to leave me if I did'nt. I told her I would stop "when God provides a Way to stop" would'nt you know it, they offered a 12 step program at Church and she said are you going to go to it? I had a commitment problem to this but with so many kids that I loved and with Jesus at my back, I went for it.Step 4 was the hardest, but when I surrendered to God, He took my lust for alcohol away and it has never returned!  Thank you Lord! If only quitting smoking pot turned out that easy! I actually got threatened by God that if I did'nt quit I would lose everything I HAD! ( i'M OVERLY POSSESSIVE!) It's because I vowed to quit a year after I quit smokingcigs and I went back to smoking pot secretly. Nobody knew about me still gettin' high except the guy who was giving me the smoke andme and God. Then one day at Church, the pastor said he had to change his whole sermon because there was 1 person in the congregation who had made a vow to quit something and had gone back to it. I thought, He's not talking about me! But the more he preached, the more I knew that the message was for me(FAITH). So I had to quit, or risk that the word wasn't for me, in which case I could lose all. And I still would like to get high but I ain't stupid. But I did quit smoking cigarettes by choice. That shows me that somethings God provides a way thru, sometimes He makes demands that we are respnsible to answer to and othertimes we have to contiously make the choice and the effort to change. Remember, its only flesh y'all!Don't matter what it looks like to others(piercings tats mods of any kind) just what it looks like between you and God. I know my wife is a good example of God's mercy, otherwise she would have left me and my bullshit along time ago.   to be continued...