xpranksx

1: Do you kiss people when you're single?
I kiss people when I’m drunk!

2: What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
It feels like I’m on speed but it’s only a hardcore decongestant

4: How do you feel about the person who texted you last?
Irrelevant

5: Do you like your life as of now?
I haven’t liked my life since 1990

6: How's your heart lately?
Bloody and squishy

7: Where did your last hug take place?
I hugged Mary Jo Kopechne in a channel underwater, off Chappaquiddick Island when I drove off a bridge, oh wait that was Ted Kennedy 39 years ago and he bolted without a hugging or helping poor Mary Jo to safety and she drowned

8: Ever kissed someone who smokes?
I kissed someone on anti-depressants!

9: Are you a jealous person?
I would have to care to be jealous

10: Are you tired right now?
I should be because I haven’t slept but I’m twitching like a tweaker

11: Do you chew on your straws?
I chew on barbwire

12: Have you ever been called a tease?
I’ve been called a prick!

13: Last inbox message from?
Kimberly

14: Who was at your house last?
Emily was over last night, awkward…

15: Do you lead people on?
That’s what players do

16: Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
I’ve been horny for 48 days straight

17: Do you like to cuddle?
I like to overturn cop cars

18: Do you cry easily?
I grow awesome hair easily

19: Do you have any siblings?
I have a wayward half brother

20: What should you be doing right now?
What ever the hell I want!

21: Are you a heavy sleeper?
I’m a heavy drinker

22: When was the last time something bothered you?
This question bothers me

23: Where was your default picture taken?
I think Georgia O’Keefe painted it

24: Are you single?
I’m a swinger baby

25: Are you happy right now?
Happiness is for people in love

26: Where is your phone?
My boot is in your ass

27: Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
I’ve proven that to myself

28: Do you like country music?
Some alt country is ok

29: Are looks important?
It’s a place to start

30: Have you ever had someone sing to you?
All the good looking chick singer I’ve seen are singing to me.


31: Are you mad at someone right now?
Madness is for crazy people

32: Do you believe in love?
I believe in lust

33: Was your last kiss a mistake?
Not exactly

34: Have you ever stayed up all night while drunk or high?
Not for a long time but I’ve stayed up all night sober way too many times

35: What makes you laugh no matter what?
People that enjoy American Idol

36: Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past week?
No, germs

37: Who was the last person you talked to?
Erica

38: Name one person on your top friends who is the most like you?
Lindsey seems to think we are a lot alike but my lack of boobs seems to indicate that not to be the case

39: Do you get butterflies around the people you like?
No, I don’t like people, problem solved

40: Will you get married?
Not likely

41: Are you happy with yourself?
I’m happy with a brick in my hand

42: Would you change yourself for the person you love?
I would change my underwear for sure

43: Is there someone you want to fight?
I want to beat the shit out of that Billy Maze dude that’s always yelling about the next shitty product he’s trying to sell on TV

44: Do you wear the seatbelt in the car?
Almost never, fuck seatbelt laws!