xpranksx

Your heart is racing, who are you standing next to?
The paramedic who just stabbed me in the heart with an amp of eppie

Have you ever been in trouble with the cops?
Since when is setting a cop car on fire a crime…

Someone just handed you $100,000 now what ?
Bankroll my own designer line of anal beads


Tears are falling from your face, what's the reason?
Mmm, tastes like pepper spray


You've won free gas for 5 years, Now what?
I give free gas huffing lessons to unemployed tweakers

You have to walk home from work, how long does it take?
Yeah, I don’t really walk except to the parking lot but if I had to do I’m guessing to would take 30 or 40 minutes

When someone texts you in the middle of the night, do you remember the conversation?
Only if they’re naked


Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
Several in fact and I know why there are no volcanoes in Nebraska… because there are no virgins to sacrifice.

What are you doing today?
What ever the hell I want as long as it involves sitting at my desk pretending to look busy.

 
Do you like fish?
They don’t have a lot to say and the seem low maintenance so yes


What color are your socks?
Black & fuzzy like my fucking soul

When did you last receive some money?
I was rich for about 7 minutes last payday… ahh, good times

What are you craving right now?
Pussy & beer

When was the last time you cried?
When I was a baby

What is the last voicemail you received about?
A car in the shop

What kind of milk do you drink?
Breast milk, from a cow (skim) or light vanilla soy

What are you going to do after this?
Sending panties to the Burmese embassies and consulates because everyone knows joining kook fringe causes will stop senseless violence

What is something you need to go shopping for?
Industrial strength bondage gear


Same name as one of your relatives?
I don’t know what this means

What's been different this year?
The custom paint job on my ankle monitor

Meet anyone new this year?
I meet new people all the time.  Only a few are special and memorable

Do you like pickles ?
I like napalm!

What color is your bedroom?
Plain and obscured in shadows like my life

Does someone like you now?
If you scour the globe past, present & future you might be able to come up with one person

Do you like anyone now?
Oh yeah, but what’s the point


Do you like the color green?
My snot use to be green but then the doctor gave me hardcore drugs and now I don’t have snot anymore

How many hours did you sleep for last night?
6 or more… don’t have anything better to do


Give me a random lyric from the song you're listening to?
“I'm strapped into my bed, I've got electrodes in my head.
My nerves are really bad, it's the best time I've ever had.”


Do you regret doing anything this week?
Do nothing, regret nothing


Last awkward moment?
I went to see some bands the other night and I got there and was surrounded by little hardcore scenester kids but no one was there to laugh at them with me


Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
Cry, no.  But I would stop smoking hermorphidites

Have you been pressured to do anything recently?
Yeah to show up for work on time

Do you hate being alone?
I hate being addicted to Meth

Has anyone ever broken your heart?
I got kicked in the nuts once, I bet that’s about the same.


What did you last eat?
Chinese Food and my fortune cookie said, “You are a man of righteousness and integrity.”  Wow, they know me so well. 

Stupid thing you did today?
Got my hopes up