xpranksx

1) If you got married to your most recent boyfriend / girlfriend what would your last name be?
Ballbuster, because she would where the pants

2) What did you do this afternoon?
Work, lunch, speed around town in the company car make cat calls out the window

3) When do you plan on having kids or your next kid?
I plan to have three or four a week because I’m a really gogetter!

4) Do you know a secret about your last ex that would embarrass them?
You mean that toe sucking thing…

5) Can you take a bra off with one hand?
Hell yeah, since I was 17

6) Can you use chopsticks?
I’m better with a bra

7) How old were you when you lost your first tooth?
Little kid age

8) What does your ex think of you?
Who the hell cares, that’s the beauty part of exs

9) Why did you throw up last?
Road kill

10) Last time you went shopping?
Shopping is for pussies, I go looting!

11) What's for dinner?
Pussy and beer

12) Ever been to the Statuee of Liberty?
I’ve been to Sonic!

13) What are you doing this weekend?
Urinating in public

14) How many e-mail addresses do you have?
A secret agent goes by many names

15) When was the last time you saw your number 1?
last time I took a piss

16) Who will you be sleeping with tonight?
Crabs

17) When was the last time you kissed someone?
Last night but I didn’t mean it

18) Do you send out Thank-You cards?
I send fruit baskets to myself because I’m that good

19) Can you ice skate?
I can barely walk

20) Do you have a brother?
I don’t have to answer your census questions

21) Do you know how to change a diaper?
I know how to make change for a dime

22) Do you flip people off while driving?
Yes because I know it hurts them so deeply they will have to go to therepy

23) What do you think of the person you took this from?
She’s awesome and beautiful

24) Would you take a bullet for anyone?
Just about anyone if it will get me out of paying taxes

25) Who is your favorite American Idol judge?
American Idol is an infection

26) Do you like to grocery shoppin?
I like it when I’m wear an oversized coat

27) What kind of mood are you in?
Some where between kick ass and eat me

28) Think of the last person you kissed, what does their name start with?
Why bring up bad memories…

29) Are you upset?
Being upset requires some amount of caring

30) How has this past week been for you?
SSDD

31) Who was the last person you texted?
I’m not big on texting… so it must have been Lindsey

32) Last person of the opposite sex to give you a hug?
Some chick

33) Do you have any bruises?
Damn right I do

34) Are you tired?
I slept last night

35) Last thing you drank?
Raw sewage

36) Are you happy with your life?
I’m happy to be out of jail

37) What band / artist are you listening to?
Nada… not that’s not a cool new band

38) Who are you thinking about right now?
The wrong person has occupied my thoughts recently

39) Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
I believe Sars makes people cough

40) Have you ever kissed somebody that you weren't dating?
Who hasn’t

41) First person under 'A' on your cell phone?
Alisa… who the hell is Alisa, serious does anyone know her?

42) Do you hate that person?
I hate the new Castro

43) What are you planning on doing after this?
I’m planning a hippie genocide party, Free special Kool-Aid, get your free Kool-Aid here!

44) Any fun plans for today?
Fun is for unemployed people

45) What color socks did you wear today?
Black like my soul

46) What song describes your life?
A song that has never been heard by the masses

47) What celebrity over 40 has still got it going on?
Hmm, you mean like Donald Trump

48) Do you like him / her?
Honestly he seems like a bit of a douche

49) Do you currently have a hickey?
I currently have $40 and that’s enough for a good time on the other side of the tracks

51) Do you get bored of your girlfriend / boyfriend easily?
I was bored before she got her shirt off

52) What was the last thing someone said to you in person?
Something, work, something, deadline, something, responsibility, something,

53) What is your worst subject in school?
Crossdressing for success

54) Do you like your job?
It allows me to fill out all these stupid survey things so what’s not to like

55) Who is the fifth text in your inbox from? What does it say?
I delete that shit right away

56) Do you have a Facebook?
I’ve been shitfaced!

57) What are your initials?
FU

58) What's your favorite number(s)?
44

59) What was the last movie you watched?
High noon with Gary Cooper